WK4 CHAMP : Certain(3-0) vs. CopyPat(3-0) -- Certain 6-3

Mike Wrecka · 10-25-2014, 09:08 PM

ok cool battle. good champ match.

copy pats overview topical about mother nature against Certains incest rape story. I guess they could both be considered rape scenarios since copy delved a bit into how mankind is raping the earth.

Copypat- at first I liked the direction you were taking the verse. describing mother nature and all her beauty while referencing her as a woman. which is what the picture gave you. its been done before. and it wasn't that creative. but you put a good spin on it. then it devolved into a humanity is destroying the earth verse. which has been done to death. perhaps your lack of topical experience hindered you a bit here. as you tackled a very well treaded topic. to make a verse like that work, it has to be exceptional. rhyming and mechanics wise. that's where I felt you lacked a little bit. the imagery was good. but the rhyming was a tad basic. it felt like it lacked multis a bit. one very positive note , you knew when to end it. didn't drag it out. overall a good verse.

certain - when I saw that this was a story verse I was a bit disappointed. they can at times be boring. but this wasn't. the multis stood out to me as dope. just to get that out of the way. the flow and cadence were very well done. which kept it moving along. it felt very natural, including the dialog which we all know is very hard to do. an exceptional verse. one thing to note , I didn't particular like the direction you took the story. you used a fairly traditional plot diagram. which was smart. introduction, conflict , climax. really no resolution. which is ok. open ended stories allow our imagination to roam. im picturing the girl haunting people going to that spot to make out, which is cool. its just that I was enjoying the way you were explaining the mundane details of the story so much I was almost taken a back a bit by how graphic and intense it all become. and all so quickly. it was a little jarring.

but ya overall an excellent verse that I enjoyed so much I just rambled on about it

dope battle guys

vote - certain

10-25-2014, 09:08 PM	#5
Mike Wrecka WOW Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,591 Battle Record: 29-25 Champed - Writing Challenge League I Rep Power: 82779338	ok cool battle. good champ match. copy pats overview topical about mother nature against Certains incest rape story. I guess they could both be considered rape scenarios since copy delved a bit into how mankind is raping the earth. Copypat- at first I liked the direction you were taking the verse. describing mother nature and all her beauty while referencing her as a woman. which is what the picture gave you. its been done before. and it wasn't that creative. but you put a good spin on it. then it devolved into a humanity is destroying the earth verse. which has been done to death. perhaps your lack of topical experience hindered you a bit here. as you tackled a very well treaded topic. to make a verse like that work, it has to be exceptional. rhyming and mechanics wise. that's where I felt you lacked a little bit. the imagery was good. but the rhyming was a tad basic. it felt like it lacked multis a bit. one very positive note , you knew when to end it. didn't drag it out. overall a good verse. certain - when I saw that this was a story verse I was a bit disappointed. they can at times be boring. but this wasn't. the multis stood out to me as dope. just to get that out of the way. the flow and cadence were very well done. which kept it moving along. it felt very natural, including the dialog which we all know is very hard to do. an exceptional verse. one thing to note , I didn't particular like the direction you took the story. you used a fairly traditional plot diagram. which was smart. introduction, conflict , climax. really no resolution. which is ok. open ended stories allow our imagination to roam. im picturing the girl haunting people going to that spot to make out, which is cool. its just that I was enjoying the way you were explaining the mundane details of the story so much I was almost taken a back a bit by how graphic and intense it all become. and all so quickly. it was a little jarring. but ya overall an excellent verse that I enjoyed so much I just rambled on about it dope battle guys vote - certain __________________ A.bove T.he R.est