AOWL Week 8: Nigma (4-1) VS. Adonis (3-1) [ADONIS WINS, 7-1.]

Xces · 04-07-2013, 03:44 AM

Enigma - I feel this piece was pretty damn good but the flow simply isn't there a few of these blocks of text it wasn't until the final stanza that you really brought out that multi game that you're good at, and it drew from the piece.

I feel that if you had found a way to incorporate the spaced out stanzas together into a single block of text it would have flowed and come across a lot cleaner. It's sad to say that to me because you said, and it is evident, in the piece. The amount of research went into writing it.

I feel like your take on the topic is super original, but I don't like the execution as much as I usually do your writing.

Adonis -

The first stanza is very choppy but the rest of the piece pulls itself together and paints a very well done story through the personification of a meteor/comet in orbit before colliding with the world.

I think this take on the topic is amazing. I would not have thought of it. - Your scheme drops off in a few places but I feel overall you were more technically sound in execution then Enigma on this one.

V/Adonis

04-07-2013, 03:44 AM	#7
Xces Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 66 Battle Record: 2-0 Rep Power: 38	Enigma - I feel this piece was pretty damn good but the flow simply isn't there a few of these blocks of text it wasn't until the final stanza that you really brought out that multi game that you're good at, and it drew from the piece. I feel that if you had found a way to incorporate the spaced out stanzas together into a single block of text it would have flowed and come across a lot cleaner. It's sad to say that to me because you said, and it is evident, in the piece. The amount of research went into writing it. I feel like your take on the topic is super original, but I don't like the execution as much as I usually do your writing. Adonis - The first stanza is very choppy but the rest of the piece pulls itself together and paints a very well done story through the personification of a meteor/comet in orbit before colliding with the world. I think this take on the topic is amazing. I would not have thought of it. - Your scheme drops off in a few places but I feel overall you were more technically sound in execution then Enigma on this one. V/Adonis __________________ "A culture is only as great as its dreams, and its dreams are dreamed by artists." -L. Ron Hubbard