W3 CONTENDER MATCH: Vulgar (2-0) vs. CopyPat (2-0) -- CopyPat 6-5

[King Ra.]

AOWL Season IV, Week 3

OFFICIAL RULES:
Verses are due Friday, October 17th, 11:59p.m. PCT/2:59a.m. EST/7:59a.m. UK. There are NO extensions.

Verses MUST be a minimum 10 lines or a maximum of 48 lines (or 650 words).

Votes are due Sunday, October 19th, 11:59p.m. PCT/2:59a.m. EST/7:59a.m. UK. Failure to vote will result in automatic sign out for the next week.


TOPIC: This dark diction has become America's addiction.


Good luck. @Vulgar @CopyPat

[CopyPat]

Look around the world and tell me what you must see
Every single person just obsessing with their touch screen
Messaging incessantly like texting’s in their bloodstream
Forget the frickin drugs. Weed, Ketamine and plus E
Cause this is how we just fiend and everyone’s a junky
Pressing on them buttons keeps us constantly delighted
But we’re missing on the present when we’re lost in these devices
It’s the cost of being connected… and we’re paying the price
Never talking, just the texting every day of our lives
Plus it’s gay what we type, all those acronyms are crazy
Although practical I hate being so astoundingly lazy
And if you’re counting this it saves me like, no percent of my quickness
When using Swift Key to try to help with a sentence
Cause every second I did get… was automatically lost
From correcting predictions that were laughably wrong
I can’t believe all of the mistakes that this fucker brings
Autocorrect my ass… Man, I hate that fuckin thing!
Hey another thing.. Bee tee dubs in this joint
When you actually SAY the letters, then what the fuck is the point???
And did you just abbreviate and abbreviation?
That’s redonkulous boy…
Man our parents gotta think we’re speakin dumb with this voice
Like we musta destroyed the way English is spoke
See I just did it again. Same shit different joke
We say shit that we know sounds stupid as fuck
But we ain’t switch it cause yo, now we used to it bruh
Refuse to be stuck with traditional language
Just make up our own shit, and piss on the hata’s
I’m sick with the statements, Oh My God. L-O-L!!
The shit that we say is so retodded: hella downs
Get it now? When in doubt, I like the slapstick shit to mess with
But no matter how eccentric; or how hard you laugh as you suggested
I’m pretty fuckin sure that your ass is still connected!!
To be H with you though, I’m truly grateful cause yo
I get to swear my mothafuckin ass off, AND use racism. WOAH
But srs, BRB, cause I really G2G
I’ll TTYL cause I’m too busy just to speak
Nah I’m really just a fiend when my texting gets through
And if you don’t know what I mean, you can S-T-F-U.

[Vulgar]

Rotten Wilers That We Are
We Mark Our Territory In More Than Blood

Give a dog a bone… give a man a cause
Skin a dog of its bones… give a man a cross
Give em’ hell, give em’ Stalingrad
Resist on hills of sand or moss
A shed in the wintertime to fill with chants of God

If well trained Great Danes charged into Khmer Rouge
would it give way to our more animalistic, calmer roots?
or would kamikaze youths wag their tails with explosives
Yelping at the ghosts in the room like they were phantoms with holsters
This land of ambrosias is sensitive to the Pomeranian’s nose
commandeering like Erwin Rommel over armored tanks in the snow
There’s no warmth in the doldrums, where rickshaw dogs sit
Old and latent, sitting sphinx-like next to zip locked sauces
raw bits of human remains, chicken stock gloss drenched
like poodles, watch how high brass do those pimpwalk contests
Tipjars on deck - collecting donations of bacon, no pissed on parsnips
Former canines of war, but about as useful as a skinned aardvark is
an appetite for grim noir - scenes in stillborn scarlet
their pedigree so full of diluted eulogies and C4 hardship
The gauntlet continues, arm them with ginsu’s
When they bark they’ll probably harm or offend you
March in your temples and tear you apart for martrydom’s symbol
ARF’s intermingle, the carnage will triple, opening up the market for Kibbles
Antifada Doberman agents ardently guard all the info
greyhounds survey the dark plains, it’s semiotic in tempo
German shepherd Panzers within a hair’s width - hardly an ingrown
War is a racket, they say - why not quiet that bulldog down?!
The killing fields, the slaughterhouses, the pounds: cook-off grounds
Gunshots and artillery shells are making Pavlov sounds
and the scummiest Shih-Tzu has the most power: making catcalls now
Ask all towns who’s pulling the strategic strings of a vaudeville battlefield
Ashes burn… it makes up the sawmill’s average yield
there’s a passing hearse… and it’s flanked by Siberian huskies
During such doggone days,
someone should extinguish this situation
Sniff the air, scratch their balls, & pee on this country

[Dove Dozer]

good Battle guys.

copy - sick verse here. real fluid. easily read through with no hiccups. I liked your take on the topic and how you went into all the common addictions. word choice throughout was stellar. Full of technical goodness as well.

vulgar - great vocab in this. the imagery i found is what stood out to me here. some real decent rhyming in here as well. some of the lines i felt were a tad long and didnt flow perfect, but nonetheless this was a great showing.


ive gotta say this was a really good battle, both writers rhymed really well and told great stories. This vote will got to whom i felt the story was stronger and was a little more enjoyable to read. sad to have to pick a winner, but....


v/copypat

[dead man]

fuck. copypat is going to be a serious threat to this league if he stays consistent.

you tackled this topic with reckless abandon and made some really great points to boot. shit was mad entertaining and obviously relatable for any of us who are 'on the grid'. i don't use my phone like its crack but of course I'm on there texting and bullshit on the regular. music. all that.

the spelling out abbreviations was the funniest shit to me. so true.

writing had serious personality. you come across as very nonchalant and whatever but you make a pretty powerful social commentary with the verse. the conclusion was essential to the feel of the verse because you eliminate a lot of that hypocrisy that comes with a lot of overly preachy and society-centric pieces of writing. it seems very self-righteous to a point and your writing never does. so word

vulgar

Antifada Doberman agents ardently guard all the info
greyhounds survey the dark plains, it’s semiotic in tempo

Gunshots and artillery shells are making Pavlov sounds
and the scummiest Shih-Tzu has the most power: making catcalls now

fantastic.

your ability to grab a running theme and run with it is nothing short of fascinating and impressive. the dogs of war will never have the same effect after reading this. you possess a breadth of knowledge that allows you to toy with these concepts loosely at will. you are able to employ a vast arsenal of reference and historical input to give your verse solid footing. you don't shoot from the hip necessarily - but you are firing rounds with your mind, not your hand. descriptions were well phrased vivid and lasting. your rhyming is among my favorite of all time. your language choice is never predictable. it is ever fluid. it goes back to the ability to employ many weapons in a single encounter. quickdraw and holster. rifle to ginsu.

i absolutely had copypat winning this battle on my first read. but i think vulgar's exhibition of his skill set alone won him this week's contender match. while copy had a far catchier interpretation of the topic, my own close reading of the two put vulgar way ahead.

thank you guys.


v/ VULGAR

[zygote]

This contest is quite close, Vulgar's submission was excellent but it is difficult to look past the continuity and sustained focus of CopyPat's writing. Enjoyed how Vulgar used all the dog references it is like a song by Sticky Fingaz called 'My dogz iz my gunz.' This contest is conceptual vs thematic, satiric insight vs clever wordplay. Voting for CopyPat.

[timeless]

Lol @ copypats approach. Shit was cool. Everything went well. Nothing really red flagged me aside from a spelling error or two but fuck that. Good reads. Vulgar, the opening line with khmer rouge was dope, and set the tone for the piece. Loved the direction you took the topic, so many great lines. I think if I hadn't read vulgars a second, let alone a third or fourth time, copy wouldve probably had my vote. I got vulgar though, probably the verse of the season imo.

V. Vulgar

[NYCSPITZ]

My favorite copypat verse of all time tbh. My only qualm with you brethern, is that you lack any sort of depth whatsoever in any of your verses. You tend to go for glib, general observations that can easily be keystyled. Just not my preference to be honest although I liked the gimmick. Good RHymes

Vulgar, not the best from you. Thought it was keystyled. Still had solid rhymes but seemed like a random collage to me TBH. Obviously superior vocabulary and depth.


IONO, SHIT'S CLOSE.


My gut tells me


v/ vulgar

[asylum]

vulgar - FIRST OF ALL i liked yours more. shit was dope. you really carried the dog theme the whole way through, and it was fucking dope. pretty fucking cool man. my favorite lines..
Antifada Doberman agents ardently guard all the info
greyhounds survey the dark plains, it’s semiotic in tempo
German shepherd Panzers within a hair’s width - hardly an ingrown
War is a racket, they say - why not quiet that bulldog down?!
The killing fields, the slaughterhouses, the pounds: cook-off grounds
Gunshots and artillery shells are making Pavlov sounds
that shit was dope sun. freal. just didnt really feel the connection with the topic as your opponent.
/v copypat - i really dont need to quote this. cuz the whole fucking verse was pointed as fuck. you made a really good statement about something that is actually happening to Americans. it's fucking disturbing, omg. nahm sayin? yah. along those lines. you really did a great job of hitting your topic head fucking on with no fear and getting an edge on an opponents verse that wouldve taken you if it wasnt for your direct approach. congrats on a job well done.

great verses from both.

[Adonis]

3-3 Tie

[Adonis]

Patrick - Stellar start in diction to start, although I didn't much like "Plus E". Seemed a bit cheap. I loved the the concept behind quick swipe wasting more time then saving due to auto correct, shows you were actually thinking while writing instead of just saying shit to say shit. The verse was fun, but somewhere in the middle grew a tad stagnant but picked up again in the end. I considered doing a verse nearly the exact same thing but from the perspective of an old man, but realized my lingo might not translate to everyone here from different parts of the world. I liked this verse though stylistically. Thought it was a witty take on topic and was executed nicely, but again, the fact that it felt stagnant at one point would be my only qualm, which is a big one at that.


V - You packed this verse to the brim my friend, it's damn near over spilling with concepts and references. I enjoy that style of writing because it truly shows your are thinking while you're writing and pushing the envelope. I will say however, there were parts where the rhyme schemes fell flat and simply missed the mark. While I appreciate the knowledge dropped, it was a bit difficult to read due to it's choppiness through out.

Close battle. If I can be honest, I liked them both and felt each had low moments.

Voting Vulgar

Pat had an equally dope concept, but I can't get passed the depth or meat to Vulgars while comparing the two.

[Witty]

Copypat - I love how you write, you are natural, effortless, and your pieces are always exciting in both rhythm and language. I think sometimes being so natural in the words you choose will get you marked down as people seem to like more unique, out there, word choices, but I'm different, I want to see a piece that lets everyone be a part, a piece that communicates with everyone and is not vague at all, I think our goal is to effectively communicate our ideas in a way that lets as many people as possible join the party and I think you're very good at that, anyone could have read this piece and been appreciative of the wit, skill, and humour on display here, not just other writers. This was very enjoyable, it got a few LOL's from me and I finished the piece feeling satisfied in every way...nothing to complain about really.

Vulgar - Man you do things in your pieces that I could never do, I'm too different of a writer, I don't know how to explain it tbh but I guess the way you word things is really impressive to me, not just the things you say but the way in which you say them is unique, I can always tells a Vulgar piece with or without the name beside it. You have a great propensity for creating imagery within your pieces, it's like a painter with a canvas, I can clearly see everything that is being described. This however was below the standard I set for you, still at a very high standard, but not quite as good as I know it can be, the writing was beautiful and I enjoyed it a lot but I did feel somewhat disconnected at times, unsure as to what was really being said. Very enjoyable piece though.

Gonna go with Copypat by a hair.

[kannon]

copypat. interesting. I was kinda hoping you would break away from just talking about texting, but it's all good. Definitely some dope lines in there. A couple lines that were worded strangely though, "ketamine and plus E," for example, and I'm always critical of just adding a "bruh" to make your multi work. But this was pretty cool. Kinda feels like the type of piece that could have been fully written in 20 minutes though, you know? No real complexities to the writing, and a little redundant in places, but still the flow was solid and the mechanics were sound.

vulgar. "skin a dog of its bones." of its bones? maybe, skin a dog to its bones. Or strip a dog of its bones. Sorry, getting finicky already. Wait, can our roots be more animalistic AND calmer? "skinned aardvark?" Man, you use some weird phrases. This is an interesting piece though. Definitely has some solid lines. But there are a lot of lines that had me confused. I enjoyed the comparison of our animalistic nature in war being presented as literal dogs, but even then, the ziplocked sauces? Some lines were just weird as shit to me. Their bark will harm you? I feel like this was a cool concept that was maybe hastily executed. And maybe I'm being overly critical, but some of those lines just didn't fly with me.

I gotta roll with Copypat. Both verses seemed rushed, but I was definitely able to enjoy copypat's more.

[Certain]

I was going to let this one solve itself, but I see it's still a tie and have read these verses three times.

CopyPat: This was a very good, direct take on the topic. One could argue that using the phrase dark in this manner might be seen as racist, but I don't think that's where you were going with it. The humor and rhyme schemes and clarity all stuck out to me. Though it wasn't as good as either of your previous two submissions in this league, you've been on a roll and showed the crispness that you bring to the table well here.

Vulgar: You had an awesome concept and some very clever lines executing it. The problem was that I don't really get the connection to the topic on any level. This was such a creative idea that maybe when you had it, you got locked in on it and went with it as means of avoiding an admittedly tough topic. But that end of this didn't connect with me. Also, there were a handful of bumps with the wording, and the rhymes were as complex or strong as I expect from you. That comes out even more when facing CopyPat.

Vote: CopyPat

[Cereal_Killa]

CopyPat:

Hey dude cool rhyme scheme, kinda simple straight forward.. No curves, no drops, swirls, purdy images or real serious metaphors.. The over all jazz is cool.. especially in the soft tone of dialogue used even with the abbreviations n wat not.. Kinda like your getting angry (completely aggressive/mad/obsessive etc) but calm which rocks.. I dare say you would have either thrown up a few miss spelt words / and or you just are truly fed up over it.. either way ish is dope, I speedballed through it so I didn’t clasp onto any.. love it none the less, nothing over the top and subtle.. nice drop dude..

Vulgar:

Rotten Wilers That We Are
We Mark Our Territory In More Than Blood

cool intro, even if it was/is a title ish is dope..

Next stanza OM fucken G whizz nigga..

The Stalin/Seinfeild switch is a huge bitch.. The jew/ the americanized stage prop with laughing track at the end.. I do so oh very like..

Here to me, even though I’ve got this nasty image of Seinfield in my head.. Your real gory, hatefilled back story doesn’t get lost in the overlay.. The dark disgust hits yet you hold comical patriotism for Americana.. all flava..

TBH you have already broken your own sci fi style, cause by now you usually hit into galaga.. leaven me moist but hells yeh I needed the flip..

or would kamikaze youths wag their tails with explosives
Yelping at the ghosts in the room like they were phantoms with holsters

nice boom – booo

an appetite for grim noir - scenes in stillborn scarlet

Now this my flava..

skinned aardvark
stillborn scarlet
hardship

Ima be real, the tip from the aardvark could have been ditched.. I had to drift too high that it stuck in my head as a negative……. sooooo regardless the still born is a brilliant splash then the cans missed in the next line but you roll the word hardship which keeps the still born line intact..

I don’t know each name you tapped on though you did cover the war torn pet to the extreme.. like imah on the field splashing in the blood..

If well trained Great Danes charged into Khmer Rouge
would it give way to our more animalistic, calmer roots?

if they were physically animals would it be easier to skin them alive and devour their future.. More then fitting sir..
Man this was crazy.. huge fan..

Vote = vulgarity

schweet match guys.. ty