W3: PancakeBrah (1-1) vs. Greed (1-1) -- PancakeBrah 4-1

asylum · 10-19-2014, 08:55 PM

/v greed - WELL. shit was dope. cant really talk shit i mean, i felt it. psycho serial killer shit.
deranged. fucking loved it. really fucking loved how it sounded here..
But smouldering ashes form a sort of dance before they're stored in trashes
The gore covered my glasses, I performed the slashes with swords and axes
While they mourned the passing i poured a quart of acid over more corpses laughing
mad flow bro. not even gonna lie. shit was sick. that shit in the middle like "well fuck thats it" i mean, idk where that came from or what its purpose was but you couldve done without it imho. but that's none of my business. you really tied the topic together with the last bar. enjoyed the whole verse.
pancake BRAH- poetic as fuck. great word choices. kinda lost me right here tho..
Where burnt midnight oil smells distinctly of vomit and grass,
toes dipped in the water, at the edge of this dock,
breaking its reflection of the moon like partitioned glass.
Star crossed, a match. Listlessly soothing. In this cross thatch, absorbing
idk. just kinda fell off for my attention span right there for the read. given its brevity, well . it had an impact. also didnt get this..
Sapped, yet renewed. Back to the dew, at a liminal point,
far flung, a fling all trepidation, linen, and joints,
? idk. pm me if u want. dont get it at all. idk what "liminal" means. maybe that has an affect.
enjoyed both reads just felt greeds more. thanks guise.

10-19-2014, 08:55 PM	#1
asylum Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2014 Posts: 999 Battle Record: 7-5 Rep Power: 8214211	/v greed - WELL. shit was dope. cant really talk shit i mean, i felt it. psycho serial killer shit. deranged. fucking loved it. really fucking loved how it sounded here.. But smouldering ashes form a sort of dance before they're stored in trashes The gore covered my glasses, I performed the slashes with swords and axes While they mourned the passing i poured a quart of acid over more corpses laughing mad flow bro. not even gonna lie. shit was sick. that shit in the middle like "well fuck thats it" i mean, idk where that came from or what its purpose was but you couldve done without it imho. but that's none of my business. you really tied the topic together with the last bar. enjoyed the whole verse. pancake BRAH- poetic as fuck. great word choices. kinda lost me right here tho.. Where burnt midnight oil smells distinctly of vomit and grass, toes dipped in the water, at the edge of this dock, breaking its reflection of the moon like partitioned glass. Star crossed, a match. Listlessly soothing. In this cross thatch, absorbing idk. just kinda fell off for my attention span right there for the read. given its brevity, well . it had an impact. also didnt get this.. Sapped, yet renewed. Back to the dew, at a liminal point, far flung, a fling all trepidation, linen, and joints, ? idk. pm me if u want. dont get it at all. idk what "liminal" means. maybe that has an affect. enjoyed both reads just felt greeds more. thanks guise.