W3: Split (1-1) vs. timeless (1-1) -- Split 5-4

asylum · 10-19-2014, 06:58 PM

/v timeless - first of all i related to what timeless was saying throughout his entire piece. there wasn't any place where i felt like he was grasping. multiples really helped throughout. great solid assonance never hurts. ended on a note i just related to. solid verse.
split - my favorite lines were these..
of us- an army of leaders, a generation esteemed.
What was once farthest of reaches is a definite target, indeed-
flowed well and carried the topic nicely. unfortunately, most of the verse.. just felt kind of broken up to me. not bad just, lost me right here...
in a giant peace fest & raffle sixty four prayer rugs...
but Al Qaeda and ISIS, we'll force to kiss before making up.
...idk. i like the message but the delivery just didn't cut the cake. didn't really come back to stong afterwards either. could've been a really solid verse with the ideas presented, just wasnt developed enough.

good match.

10-19-2014, 06:58 PM	#9
asylum Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2014 Posts: 999 Battle Record: 7-5 Rep Power: 8214211	/v timeless - first of all i related to what timeless was saying throughout his entire piece. there wasn't any place where i felt like he was grasping. multiples really helped throughout. great solid assonance never hurts. ended on a note i just related to. solid verse. split - my favorite lines were these.. of us- an army of leaders, a generation esteemed. What was once farthest of reaches is a definite target, indeed- flowed well and carried the topic nicely. unfortunately, most of the verse.. just felt kind of broken up to me. not bad just, lost me right here... in a giant peace fest & raffle sixty four prayer rugs... but Al Qaeda and ISIS, we'll force to kiss before making up. ...idk. i like the message but the delivery just didn't cut the cake. didn't really come back to stong afterwards either. could've been a really solid verse with the ideas presented, just wasnt developed enough. good match.