WK2 : Frank(0-1) vs. Three-Planes-Aligned(0-0) [Frank wins, 6-4.]

Listen · 10-12-2014, 02:54 PM

3P,

Great effort here. Well-written. Overall, a very solid piece. You build well your concepts which makes it very easy to read. Spectacular ending. However, it was missing something for me. You gave me the description (what), you gave me enough imagery to assume the who, but I didn't get a why... I mean, you, it almost felt like you left me 10000 miles in the sky and never brought it down for me to relate to. It was beautifully written, INCREDIBLY descriptive, fitting words, but a bit dry.

Frank -

It is hard to vote against 3P here... We can all admit, that was VERY WELL WRITTEN... but for that bit 3p lacked, frank owned. Not only is his piece real, well-written, descriptive, but it is not dry. If someone read that to me - I can see it.

Common theme... Often times we deem grounded verses that are not packed complexity as simple. They are not. Pieces should contain emotion, a meaning, a story, and coherency.

So, as great of a job 3P did... I am voting for frank. Just overall more enjoyable, less dry, while maintaining the SAME high level of writing.

v/Frank.

10-12-2014, 02:54 PM	#8
Listen Member Join Date: Sep 2014 Posts: 41 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 3760711	3P, Great effort here. Well-written. Overall, a very solid piece. You build well your concepts which makes it very easy to read. Spectacular ending. However, it was missing something for me. You gave me the description (what), you gave me enough imagery to assume the who, but I didn't get a why... I mean, you, it almost felt like you left me 10000 miles in the sky and never brought it down for me to relate to. It was beautifully written, INCREDIBLY descriptive, fitting words, but a bit dry. Frank - It is hard to vote against 3P here... We can all admit, that was VERY WELL WRITTEN... but for that bit 3p lacked, frank owned. Not only is his piece real, well-written, descriptive, but it is not dry. If someone read that to me - I can see it. Common theme... Often times we deem grounded verses that are not packed complexity as simple. They are not. Pieces should contain emotion, a meaning, a story, and coherency. So, as great of a job 3P did... I am voting for frank. Just overall more enjoyable, less dry, while maintaining the SAME high level of writing. v/Frank.