Week 1: Innovator vs. Dove Dozer [Dove Dozer wins, 8-4.]

Pinot Grij · 10-06-2014, 01:21 AM

Inno, I was not feeling it. I appreciate you taking a different form and going in a different direction than most pieces with the shorter bars and construction - it just didn't work for me. A lot of your verse seemed to ramble on... I'm following line by line for a pay off rhyme or something and it just never came. Kudos for doing something new, just missed the mark for me.

Dozer, this was pretty middle of the road for me. I liked the rhyme style, but story-wise it didn't really go anywhere... you just kind of described the picture with a bit of backstory. That's cool, and I think it was enough to give you the edge in this battle... but I think going forward you can do more to create a story.

Vote - Dove Dozer

10-06-2014, 01:21 AM	#12
Pinot Grij Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 863 Battle Record: 23-19 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night 2 - Write Week V - Netcees Battle League (2x) - Winter Topical II - 1-2 Punch league Rep Power: 29195064	Inno, I was not feeling it. I appreciate you taking a different form and going in a different direction than most pieces with the shorter bars and construction - it just didn't work for me. A lot of your verse seemed to ramble on... I'm following line by line for a pay off rhyme or something and it just never came. Kudos for doing something new, just missed the mark for me. Dozer, this was pretty middle of the road for me. I liked the rhyme style, but story-wise it didn't really go anywhere... you just kind of described the picture with a bit of backstory. That's cool, and I think it was enough to give you the edge in this battle... but I think going forward you can do more to create a story. Vote - Dove Dozer __________________ Topical C.R.E.A.M.