Netcees  

Go Back   Netcees > Vault > Archives > The Netcees archive > AOWL Season 4 Archive
Register FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Search

User Tag List

 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
Old 10-04-2014, 08:56 PM   #6
Adonis
Tsk Tsk
 
Adonis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Beer Goggles
Posts: 4,834
Battle Record: 36-34


Champed
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- NFL Pick'em 2016-17

Rep Power: 9946449
Adonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant future
Default

8 - I liked " the next off is a crooked design of wooden relief, and I hesitate at the door, this is the turning point", this was dope for plenty of reasons. All in all though, the flow was off and on. There were true highlights, but given the multitude of change ups (which I do appreciate and recognize) the flow skipped a beat or two to catch up. The story it self was relatively face value. Your previous works created this expectation of me having to decipher the entire verse in order to draw something definite from it, which in the end is usually satisfying whether I'm right or wrong because you made me think. this was not in that vein. The writing was solid, good use of emotion and painting a picture of a person trying to escape the every day hustle and bustle. But in the end, I will say not one of your better complete works. I assume because it was rushed, thus, not complete.

Diggs - "deadly vows/ many vows" no bueno. The story was very captivating 3/4's of the way through, and then it just sort of moved along drably. The finished product had a quick jab, but I much preferred the more series moments although humor is a good tool in these leagues, in this case I felt it took away more then help complete. The flow was decent, but you too changed it up here and there and created small windows worth of hiccups sprinkled around.

In the end I can only say my expecting a strong BOTW (battle of the week) and possible BOTY (battle of year) candidate I was left disappointed. You both have come ten times better then this effort, but the funny thing is, as I'm being highly critical; for the sake of argument (Might not be true), say these were each of your worst verses ever, I still enjoyed them.


Voting Kannon

His verse felt more complete
__________________
I'm tryna fuck like A-don-is

TUPAC SHAKUR
Adonis is offline  
 


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:03 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2025 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Google+