AOWL Week 7: Topicaldood5 (1-0) vs. Innovator (2-4) [TOPICALDOOD5 WINS, 6-3.]

Geno · 04-03-2013, 05:55 PM

well.

topical guy
cool verse, had some good mechanics and read fairly clean. im gonna be honest right now -im guessing you along with every other person who centers there verse came from another site. its all good your not from these neck of the woods... but honestly -I FUCKING HATE THAT CENTERED VERSE BULL SHIT.

had a good view, not much into the dungeons and dragons scene myself. ive read this story a million times tbh. not the exact story of coutrse, but a long the exact lines -and tbh, it was done much better by those people prior to you. this type of concept is very blah and played out man. not hating -simply identifying that it may be time to grow up in your verses.

innovator.
honestly, you didnt display as good mechanics as your adversary did. but tbh -this week it was content over mechanics by far. which for me can be very tricky -its hard for me to vote content over mechanics when mechanics are such an important part of my style. but honestly -when the person just doesnt appeal to me at all in a league topical verse... i have to vote for the more enjoyable piece -which was yours when it comes ddown to it.

try working on better settup?deliveries maybe, im dissecting your verse trying to identify why it doesnt read smooth and cant put my finger on the major problem. just seems to have misplaced syllables scattered throughout. its not a lack of rhymes, just a lack of good placement i think. if that makes sense?

vote -innovator

04-03-2013, 05:55 PM	#15
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,354 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036761	well. topical guy cool verse, had some good mechanics and read fairly clean. im gonna be honest right now -im guessing you along with every other person who centers there verse came from another site. its all good your not from these neck of the woods... but honestly -I FUCKING HATE THAT CENTERED VERSE BULL SHIT. had a good view, not much into the dungeons and dragons scene myself. ive read this story a million times tbh. not the exact story of coutrse, but a long the exact lines -and tbh, it was done much better by those people prior to you. this type of concept is very blah and played out man. not hating -simply identifying that it may be time to grow up in your verses. innovator. honestly, you didnt display as good mechanics as your adversary did. but tbh -this week it was content over mechanics by far. which for me can be very tricky -its hard for me to vote content over mechanics when mechanics are such an important part of my style. but honestly -when the person just doesnt appeal to me at all in a league topical verse... i have to vote for the more enjoyable piece -which was yours when it comes ddown to it. try working on better settup?deliveries maybe, im dissecting your verse trying to identify why it doesnt read smooth and cant put my finger on the major problem. just seems to have misplaced syllables scattered throughout. its not a lack of rhymes, just a lack of good placement i think. if that makes sense? vote -innovator __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*