AOWL Week 7: Vinzr (3-1) vs. Que (0-0)-- [QUE WINS 9-2]

King Ra. · 04-03-2013, 06:10 AM

Interesting match up here. Vinzr, you came with a more simple written piece. The rhyme scheme was basic. Same with your word choice as well, it looks as if you didn't want to sacrifice your flow in favor of more stronger word choice to really paint a vivid picture. Now beyond that, your take on the topic was interesting and actually more complex than the writing itself just as CK mentioned before. I don't think I ever read a topical that did something like that ever, but that is definitely new. I do feel as if you could have benefited if you had touched up your rhyme scheme and used more diction, all in all, it was pretty solid all around & the story seemed to improve as you went on towards the end. Que, your first match in the league and I got to say I like what you did with this topic. It was definitely very original & fresh which made for a great read. What's even more interesting is you used two different character conversations, no narratives to give off your message. Dope. While there were only a few hiccups, your scheme was more rich than Vin's & your content more favorable as well. It will definitely be interesting to see how you do these coming weeks. Pretty cool match up, but I feel Que outshined Vin in this one with a fresh approach to the topic.

MVGT: Que.

04-03-2013, 06:10 AM	#17
King Ra. The Throne, The Crown Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 2,667 Battle Record: 21-35 Rep Power: 1932963	Interesting match up here. Vinzr, you came with a more simple written piece. The rhyme scheme was basic. Same with your word choice as well, it looks as if you didn't want to sacrifice your flow in favor of more stronger word choice to really paint a vivid picture. Now beyond that, your take on the topic was interesting and actually more complex than the writing itself just as CK mentioned before. I don't think I ever read a topical that did something like that ever, but that is definitely new. I do feel as if you could have benefited if you had touched up your rhyme scheme and used more diction, all in all, it was pretty solid all around & the story seemed to improve as you went on towards the end. Que, your first match in the league and I got to say I like what you did with this topic. It was definitely very original & fresh which made for a great read. What's even more interesting is you used two different character conversations, no narratives to give off your message. Dope. While there were only a few hiccups, your scheme was more rich than Vin's & your content more favorable as well. It will definitely be interesting to see how you do these coming weeks. Pretty cool match up, but I feel Que outshined Vin in this one with a fresh approach to the topic. MVGT: Que.