Tomorrow is gravid.

[Certain]

So I walked into my mechanic's the other day for a token oil change,
and I said — I said, "Mike, I think I've got a broken coil spring.
Can you check the suspension?"
Now I had his attention.
"What made you think you got something like that? It could start in the engine."
I said, "I don't know, Mike. Just seems to shake when I drive,
especially when I hit about 85."
"So you got a problem? Couldn't just be these fuckin' roads now?"
"Well, it happens every time I hit 85, especially when it's cold out."
Mike turns to me, shrugs his shoulders and raises his whole brow.
"So then, I gotta ask —
why the fuck don't you slow down?"

...

Broaching cataclysm, we've overcrowded the 36th chamber,
flirting with hangers ready to remove the future, loosely sutured
into the womb. I did consume more than my fair share of Soy(lent) sauce,
so why don't you pour your salt in my wounds until the boiling stops?
Recoil and drop — there's nowhere to run to, baby, nowhere to hide.
Defined by chauvinist times, original meaning: copius pride.
We're spinning heads on swivels but can't axis information,
so prime another layer of didactic insulation.
We carry cancer in our pockets, put the cancer to ears,
breathe the cancer as a toxin as we're answering our peers.
We are the champions of fear but never know what we're afraid of
until that last bump in the dark severs hope and smears our makeup.
But we've got to keep moving: This hamster wheel is spinning with force.
And we've got to keep moving: This wooden foundation is splintered and warped.
So we've got to keep moving: The yellow-brick road's been smelted for gold,
and all we've ever exposed is a series of irrelevant tomes.
(Sort of like this one?) Something like this one,
which is neither beginning nor destination.
When you clear a house for zombies, never forget to check the basement.
And when you sneer and shout and lobby and flail your fists at me,
you'd better be damn sure tomorrow's the most important day in history.

[e11even]

Very interesting piece. I was actually kinda thrown off at how the rhyming wasn't as present as I remember reading from you in the past. I think this piece requires a few rereads so I won't say too much, but overall this tone reminds me of written agenda i get lost in too often when free-writing. I'm an activist of several sorts with loose thoughts conflicting each other and some of that is this.


All in all, cool read. glad to still see you in OM.

[Lars]

the yellow brick roads been smelted for gold was dope

not sure if I got it all

I need to re-read through at some point

keep that pen moving!

[Sick]

Dope

[Hush]

Loved the opening half

Wish the entire piece was about u fixing ur car
I was really into the story and the pacing was raw


Props

Didn't read the 2nd half cuz I really just wanted more car rap

[Saila]

Gotta agree with Juan Carlos Paccito Machitto above - I also wanted more of the first section - but so! Who am I to dictate what you shoulda woulda coulda wrote?
The first section story telling was bang on point. Sometimes, you can think of a story to tell, but struggle a bit trying to articulate what's in your head, thus it doesn't come out right. You got it right here though. And the story came out perfectly.
I loved how you went onto the second section. The imagery shone through clearly with the descriptiveness of this piece. Brilliant work!!

[Soulstice]

This was cool - the dialogue was the most natural ive seen in a topical. The language in the stanza contrasted in a very cool way yet the conversational aspect was still present in the second, as if the first was too regular fellas and the second was two coked out philosophers excitedly sprinting towards some as-of-yet unknown universal truth. I think the truth we're discussing here is how hubris and pride can make a man play himself for a fool even when it is completely evident that it is damaging to someone who is witnessing it for himself. The 1st stanza supports that and i got those vibes from 'axis information (wordplay!)', copius pride, smelting a road that would lead you correctly for your won 'gold'.. the cancer in our pockets line was pretty clearly a wallet related imagery. take pride in your wallet, and pride is cancerous. and the answering your peers was simply lying to make hyourself look better. and i guess the piece closes by saying goddamnit humanity figure it out and be humble and live a better life. piece was awesomely done, pm me what it was actually about

[Vulgar]

Enjoyed this, it was left field from you. A piece about the grey areas of self improvement (or the vehicle of our life, our body) is how I interpreted this. You're hinting at your full potential with these pit stops.

Keep doing you

[razor wayans damon blades]

best thing you wrote cause it isnt weird as heck

[CopyPat]

i like the mechanic shit, the 2nd part u lost me, i ain't no poet, u gotta spell it out for me, haha. this is wack feed sorry. but i wanted to say whatsup cause its been a while. i also wanted to say i really really like that mechanic shit! haha, also check out my topical i posted, i think u will like. stay up bruth

[Lars]

link me to your shit @CopyPat

[PancakeBrah]

This was my favorite piece of yours. Although the alien/mind invader piece from The Winter Topical's close.

I liked the little vignette to give your theme some color. Acted like a springboard. Expertly written. The only two spots I didn't like were 'whole brow' and 'axis information'. Aside from that I thought this was great. Had a clear theme/idea and you wrote it well. Each word had weight and purpose and the ender was well placed.

Sorry for the lack of in-depth feedback. I've read this a couple of times. I just haven't felt the motivation to break down pieces lately. But this was a gem.

[big baby]

Originally Posted by Certain

Recoil and drop — there's nowhere to run to, baby, nowhere to hide.