Round 2: 3. Split vs. R. Cormier \\ Split wins 4-3

dead man · 09-07-2014, 12:42 AM

cormier -- i remember your name from the RHYME but i can't say i remember any verses from you specifically. this was a catchy, accessible and dope 10 liner. in fact, as far as your specific direction, this is the way it should be done imo. it was concise and did not set it's goals higher than achievable in such a short amount of space. the buzzword for this tourney is going to be 'ambition' -- and when ambition overshadows rationality, upsets will define the outcome of this competition.

split -- you gave us something pretty solid to follow here. my main complaint was the vaguely defined edges you glossed over with a bit too much casualty for my liking. 6 lines is not enough to delve into a relationship in the manner you're attempting - deeply and psychologically and, i guess, enviously - despite your particular penchant for compacting large ideas into few words. i just didn't connect the way i would have hoped to. i think the case is oddly similar to pents and soul's battle (which i just finished) - although your language and rhyme-work vastly out-shined cormier's (the way soul's did pent's), i find myself leaning heavily towards the contender who brought a more original and fulfilling angle to the topic, and the contender who used his 10 lines more effectively to create something more engaging.

this is definitely an upset in my eyes, given split was one of my favorites to advance to the finals but i can only go with my gut here.

v/ CORMIER

09-07-2014, 12:42 AM	#8
dead man living Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,485 Battle Record: 33-18 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - AOWL Season 1 - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 4 - Write Week V - GWL Season 1 Rep Power: 77606679	cormier -- i remember your name from the RHYME but i can't say i remember any verses from you specifically. this was a catchy, accessible and dope 10 liner. in fact, as far as your specific direction, this is the way it should be done imo. it was concise and did not set it's goals higher than achievable in such a short amount of space. the buzzword for this tourney is going to be 'ambition' -- and when ambition overshadows rationality, upsets will define the outcome of this competition. split -- you gave us something pretty solid to follow here. my main complaint was the vaguely defined edges you glossed over with a bit too much casualty for my liking. 6 lines is not enough to delve into a relationship in the manner you're attempting - deeply and psychologically and, i guess, enviously - despite your particular penchant for compacting large ideas into few words. i just didn't connect the way i would have hoped to. i think the case is oddly similar to pents and soul's battle (which i just finished) - although your language and rhyme-work vastly out-shined cormier's (the way soul's did pent's), i find myself leaning heavily towards the contender who brought a more original and fulfilling angle to the topic, and the contender who used his 10 lines more effectively to create something more engaging. this is definitely an upset in my eyes, given split was one of my favorites to advance to the finals but i can only go with my gut here. v/ CORMIER __________________ Zack Wicks for president