Round 2: 7. Diode vs. 2. oats \\ oats wins 10-(-4)

oats · 09-05-2014, 01:51 AM

earth began as flat and central, man's signature flawed prediction:
Go too far and you'll fall off - into the middle of all existence
Stuck in traditional knowledge, smitten by all our typical botched admissions
Our physical laws are trivial novels - written as cosmic fiction
First there was only one Sun, the pinnacle of majesty!
...except for all the other solar systems riddled through the galaxy
Surely the Milky Way's unique - the epicentral pulse at work!
Just ignore the rest of them (and for god's sake don't dare say there's a multiverse...)
We always think there's only one: you're a snowflake, the clover's 4th petal
But given all of nature's parity - what makes you think you're special?

Eŋg · 09-08-2014, 12:44 AM

oats - your tone is didactic at times - which isn't a bad thing, i know, i say it a lot. and in fairness: i can see why. you do have some colour to offer the average grey matter. this was one of my better liked verses of the round, with particular resonance coming in the form of the final sentiment, though i might not entirely agree, it nails the topic. the parenthetical expression was cute. great ten liner.

diode - your final five lines were comfortably better than the five before them. this was a good verse, with something of a similar moral as your opponent's, i suppose, via vastly different approach. this was a little uninspired to begin with, for me, but improved as it progressed. it ended with something akin to a sobering thought too, which i think was good. out-written, though.

v/oats

09-05-2014, 01:51 AM	#1
oats Steel Cut Join Date: May 2013 Posts: 5,076 Battle Record: 19-10 Accomplishments - OM HOF (2x) Champed - Fight Night LXXXIV - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 79005425	earth began as flat and central, man's signature flawed prediction: Go too far and you'll fall off - into the middle of all existence Stuck in traditional knowledge, smitten by all our typical botched admissions Our physical laws are trivial novels - written as cosmic fiction First there was only one Sun, the pinnacle of majesty! ...except for all the other solar systems riddled through the galaxy Surely the Milky Way's unique - the epicentral pulse at work! Just ignore the rest of them (and for god's sake don't dare say there's a multiverse...) We always think there's only one: you're a snowflake, the clover's 4th petal But given all of nature's parity - what makes you think you're special? __________________ You should be water

09-08-2014, 12:44 AM	#2
Eŋg rhyme capsule. Join Date: Sep 2018 Posts: 2,146 Rep Power: 0	oats - your tone is didactic at times - which isn't a bad thing, i know, i say it a lot. and in fairness: i can see why. you do have some colour to offer the average grey matter. this was one of my better liked verses of the round, with particular resonance coming in the form of the final sentiment, though i might not entirely agree, it nails the topic. the parenthetical expression was cute. great ten liner. diode - your final five lines were comfortably better than the five before them. this was a good verse, with something of a similar moral as your opponent's, i suppose, via vastly different approach. this was a little uninspired to begin with, for me, but improved as it progressed. it ended with something akin to a sobering thought too, which i think was good. out-written, though. v/oats