Round 1: 6. Soulstice vs. 11. Objective \\ Soulstice wins 5-0

Cormier · 08-30-2014, 04:48 PM

Soulstice- I like the amount that you were able to do with just the 10 lines. i feel like you gave us a very complete story that actually contained some nice imagery and characterization of your two Bonnie and Clyde type characters. i think the rhyming and flow was fine, my only problem with the writing is that there were some instances where the wording was superfluous for the same of a forced slant rhyme. the conservative crooning and invertebrate eunuch phrases didn't sit well with me

Objective- rhyming and flow was smooth, but some wording issues. the whole "sharp as a blade" line is horribly put together for the sake of rhyming. i think you have a good start or section of a topical, but as a complete piece itself it's lacking some clarity and direction for me.

Vote= Soulstice

08-30-2014, 04:48 PM	#6
Cormier Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2014 Posts: 16 Battle Record: 1-2 Rep Power: 0	Soulstice- I like the amount that you were able to do with just the 10 lines. i feel like you gave us a very complete story that actually contained some nice imagery and characterization of your two Bonnie and Clyde type characters. i think the rhyming and flow was fine, my only problem with the writing is that there were some instances where the wording was superfluous for the same of a forced slant rhyme. the conservative crooning and invertebrate eunuch phrases didn't sit well with me Objective- rhyming and flow was smooth, but some wording issues. the whole "sharp as a blade" line is horribly put together for the sake of rhyming. i think you have a good start or section of a topical, but as a complete piece itself it's lacking some clarity and direction for me. Vote= Soulstice