Round 1: R. CopyPat vs. 7. Diode \\ Diode wins 9-1

Pinot Grij · 08-29-2014, 10:50 PM

CopyPat, a good feel to this verse. Casual tone, a bit choppy on the mechanics... "tit-ties" was a hard sell, "she started grow" is an obvious typo. The end line was a bit of comedy to salvage what you had, but it wasn't a jaw-dropper.

Diode, I liked your approach to this - there was something cool in the simplicity of football players all falling down, but elaborating on it so thoroughly and describing it in such intricate detail. That intri***y followed by the payoff of the simplicity of the basic idea seemed really fresh. I really hated your use of "solilquies" - seemed forced... but overall I think you offered a fresher, more engaging take than your opponent.

In the end you both elaborated on a very simple take on the topic, but Diode gave a more engaging lead up and technically showed more prowess than Pat. My vote goes to Diode

08-29-2014, 10:50 PM	#6
Pinot Grij Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 863 Battle Record: 23-19 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night 2 - Write Week V - Netcees Battle League (2x) - Winter Topical II - 1-2 Punch league Rep Power: 29195064	CopyPat, a good feel to this verse. Casual tone, a bit choppy on the mechanics... "tit-ties" was a hard sell, "she started grow" is an obvious typo. The end line was a bit of comedy to salvage what you had, but it wasn't a jaw-dropper. Diode, I liked your approach to this - there was something cool in the simplicity of football players all falling down, but elaborating on it so thoroughly and describing it in such intricate detail. That intri*y followed by the payoff of the simplicity of the basic idea seemed really fresh. I really hated your use of "solilquies" - seemed forced... but overall I think you offered a fresher, more engaging take than your opponent. In the end you both elaborated on a very simple take on the topic, but Diode gave a more engaging lead up and technically showed more prowess than Pat. My vote goes to Diode** __________________ Topical C.R.E.A.M.