Vague Memories PT1

PancakeBrah · 04-01-2013, 12:19 PM

Imposing my will, w/ focus so bright, no... it's a lie
I'm honing my skills, zoning on pills, dosed thru a night
A loneliness kills, only for thrills.. still. I know it's not right
For my throne I would fight, tho I don't have.. alot left

Nice.

Other than some wording that I'd personally change (using 'a' instead of 'the' in a couple spots) this was a quality short piece. You seem to veer towards the more introspective and personal when you drop Open Mics which is a cool clash with your boarding habits. Technically sound all around, no hiccups in flow. Rhymes were on point.

Good shit.

04-01-2013, 12:19 PM	#2
PancakeBrah SOBER Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 12,480 Battle Record: 2-5 Champed - AOWL Season 2 Rep Power: 85899407	Imposing my will, w/ focus so bright, no... it's a lie I'm honing my skills, zoning on pills, dosed thru a night A loneliness kills, only for thrills.. still. I know it's not right For my throne I would fight, tho I don't have.. alot left Nice. Other than some wording that I'd personally change (using 'a' instead of 'the' in a couple spots) this was a quality short piece. You seem to veer towards the more introspective and personal when you drop Open Mics which is a cool clash with your boarding habits. Technically sound all around, no hiccups in flow. Rhymes were on point. Good shit. __________________ Netcees 2025 Revivalist Movement Founder