No Mercy - Gamble ft Black D & Camp Bell

[Sho Money EMG]

Originally Posted by Certain

The wording here is really poor. How does one search for a soul journey? A soul journey, in theory, would itself be a search. Also, the -ing verb followed by a gerund is frowned upon because it's not succinct. This phrasing would have worked at least a little better: "I'm headed toward quitting this soul journey cold turkey." But even so, I'm not sure what this means beyond the rhyme. And the rhyme is pretty simple.



These phrases don't work together. "Pure angel dust" wouldn't make "fucks hang it up." And that has nothing to do with "That Clyde Frazier touch." Furthermore, Walt Frazier wasn't known for his touch as much as his defense and playmaking.



Again, the connection between phrases is almost entirely missing. There were four phrases here, each which could have worked, but they didn't feel part of anything. This is directionless.



Do decapitated people gasp for air? I don't get the impression that's the case. Also, Nick Berg wasn't killed by ISIS because ISIS didn't exist.



Hamas has been in Palestine for decades, but the second line would have worked well if you hadn't used the Hamas reference and instead only went with the Hezbollah reference. I think you're out of your depth here in terms of having a thorough understanding of what you're writing about, though.



You'll turn my block into a site of police brutality and neighborhood protests? I guess that makes at least a little sense. But it doesn't connect with the idea of murdering conservatives that you led with in the setup.



Good verse, easily the best of this collaboration.



I think you went a little too long between "hands go astray" and "hannibal a brain," but this was an interesting rhyme scheme to try out.



You avoided making sense here.



The wordplay didnt' work here. You're pushing too aggressively on rhymes. Making sense should be the first priority.



I see what you tried to do here. It didn't work.



You finished well, mostly because your thoughts connected better.

I see ur one tough egg to crack lol but good looks on the feed, I'm working on it the more recent verse u might like.