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Old 08-23-2014, 11:46 PM   #1
Beyond
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Originally Posted by oats View Post
lol@Bey's response, never seen feed incorporate so much slobber. here is why your line was awful @Paradigm @Beyond. Keep in mind, I've given you props when you have dope lines (coat tails in here, so ur wild oats in our battle, etc). This is a learning opportunity for you.

We about that life while y'all just skittishly thugging.
We'll leave u so red, Coats they'll think the British are coming.

the comma and the word "they'll" completely fuck this line up. had anyone other than Bey dropped it, people would have said it was wack. typical battler dickriding tbh. here's why. best wordplay works both ways. good wordplay can still work one way. this works zero ways.

we'll leave you so redcoats they'll think the british is coming=doesn't make sense
we'll leave you so red, Coats they'll think the british is coming=doesn't make sense

I get it, redcoats=British and leaving us red means you hit us. cool. but the way it's worded is clunky as fuck.

btw the fact that beyond gave you props on that equally horrendous opener in this verse is not something to be proud of. I expected better from the both of you. oh and my diss that I wrote on the subway home still shits on this :)
I appreciate the feedback and will take it under consideration.

Sike.

Idc. I know what I was doing when I did the line. No shit it didn't make sense both ways, most wordplays don't and people call them dope. I was taking advantage of that. Don't hate the player, hate the game.

If I wanted to make it work both ways, it would of worked both ways. I didn't care to put that much effort in against two poem writers and clearly I didn't have to.

You can't teach me anything when it comes to text. I've written and read more verses than God. If I write something you don't like, it was intentional. Not everyone thinks like you, if they did you would of swept us instead of getting folded.

Feel me?

pz
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Old 08-24-2014, 09:54 PM   #2
Eŋg
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would of
props, El.
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