"Daliwinism"

Soulstice · 08-18-2014, 10:30 PM

Interesting piece. Wish you would've thrown out more references to Dali (unless I didnt catch them) because the ending seemed abrupt. I guess the title of the piece is a clever play on words, but the piece didn't really build toward an ending. The de-evolution of a species verse technology continuing on an opposing upward trend is interesting and i can see the way it ties into the picture, but the piece took a total sharp left to get there. The uniformed beige was a cool image, as well as some other phrasings that were cool because of they were neatly deployed into the scheme - inept degenerates, practical brain. The parts with the scheme you used in the lines with the aforementioned bits was tough to catch at first but it flowed well after a couple reads. This was a good read for what appeared to be somewhat of a keystyle, props as always

08-18-2014, 10:30 PM	#2
Soulstice native system Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 387 Battle Record: 18-21 Champed - Short-Verse Topical Rep Power: 4453411	Interesting piece. Wish you would've thrown out more references to Dali (unless I didnt catch them) because the ending seemed abrupt. I guess the title of the piece is a clever play on words, but the piece didn't really build toward an ending. The de-evolution of a species verse technology continuing on an opposing upward trend is interesting and i can see the way it ties into the picture, but the piece took a total sharp left to get there. The uniformed beige was a cool image, as well as some other phrasings that were cool because of they were neatly deployed into the scheme - inept degenerates, practical brain. The parts with the scheme you used in the lines with the aforementioned bits was tough to catch at first but it flowed well after a couple reads. This was a good read for what appeared to be somewhat of a keystyle, props as always