Blanco Bishop vs jilti (s&f) [Jilti WINS]

Certain · 08-14-2014, 02:04 PM

Blanco Bishop: The length of your bars is a kind of unfair advantage. Regardless, this verse was OK at best. You didn't have much content. The rhyme schemes were standard, and the rhymes were boring and very slanted. You definitely picked up momentum as you went along after a slow start, but then you squandered it on that ending.

jilti: I liked this. A few nice punchlines were interspersed in a verse that flowed well. The lines were a little long for the traditional couplet structure. The last line was funny. And you had nice swagger. The only thing I'd really say for this format is that tightening up some of your wording would go a long way toward making the cadence more approachable.

Vote: jilti

08-14-2014, 02:04 PM	#12
Certain Mad fucking dangerous. Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 12,066 Battle Record: 40-19 Champed - AOWL Season 3 - Art of Writing League (2x) Rep Power: 85899406	Blanco Bishop: The length of your bars is a kind of unfair advantage. Regardless, this verse was OK at best. You didn't have much content. The rhyme schemes were standard, and the rhymes were boring and very slanted. You definitely picked up momentum as you went along after a slow start, but then you squandered it on that ending. jilti: I liked this. A few nice punchlines were interspersed in a verse that flowed well. The lines were a little long for the traditional couplet structure. The last line was funny. And you had nice swagger. The only thing I'd really say for this format is that tightening up some of your wording would go a long way toward making the cadence more approachable. Vote: jilti __________________ I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws.