R2: Gaseous Snake vs. Wolfdick - [Gaseous Snakes Advances 8-1]

Peter McPuffington · 08-10-2014, 05:43 PM

I can only be honest. Gas, your verse came off as many words strung together. In some lines it seemed like you were adding multies because you CAN, and not because it fit per say. Dick countered this using your rhyme scheme only in a more fluid manner. He also had a single line in the middle that fucked up that entire attempt. Well I don't think either of you did above average, I don't think you either wrote something valiant of a champ match either. So when I vote I'll ignore the better writing and instead go with what style ingrigues me more in the future as I will be voting.

Gas - I think you should not have such long lines and still focus on your rhyme scheme which is good. But you add a lot of meat to a verse stretching the scheme to rhyme a certain format, next time just rhyme...

Voting - Dick

08-10-2014, 05:43 PM	#1
Peter McPuffington One Dig Bick Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Closed Wardrobe, USA Posts: 15 Rep Power: 0	I can only be honest. Gas, your verse came off as many words strung together. In some lines it seemed like you were adding multies because you CAN, and not because it fit per say. Dick countered this using your rhyme scheme only in a more fluid manner. He also had a single line in the middle that fucked up that entire attempt. Well I don't think either of you did above average, I don't think you either wrote something valiant of a champ match either. So when I vote I'll ignore the better writing and instead go with what style ingrigues me more in the future as I will be voting. Gas - I think you should not have such long lines and still focus on your rhyme scheme which is good. But you add a lot of meat to a verse stretching the scheme to rhyme a certain format, next time just rhyme... Voting - Dick __________________ An Acid Rapper, A large while Flaccid Bastard.