Extramundane Nonmaterial Experiences - Sitting at A Bodhi Tree

UnbornBuddha · 08-02-2014, 04:19 AM

This was most excellent. The ending I believe should not have ended in a question considering the way everything else was presented. Although the question does give the reader the opportunity to meditate, just like the mediator. But since this was given under the eye of the meditator at the Bodhi tree, I don't believe he will have any more questions of such things for that still entails a discovery left undone; A passage or journey still not trekked.
This tale of the ascetic's redemption is quite fitting. In terms of presentation the flow and wording is off at times, and some lines can be made stronger. Especially when he awakened, it seemed very casual, almost uninspired. But, either way this was a splendid presentation, especially the last 12 lines. I hope to read more.

08-02-2014, 04:19 AM	#6
UnbornBuddha Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2014 Posts: 1,008 Battle Record: 23-10 Champed - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 5 Rep Power: 23856379	This was most excellent. The ending I believe should not have ended in a question considering the way everything else was presented. Although the question does give the reader the opportunity to meditate, just like the mediator. But since this was given under the eye of the meditator at the Bodhi tree, I don't believe he will have any more questions of such things for that still entails a discovery left undone; A passage or journey still not trekked. This tale of the ascetic's redemption is quite fitting. In terms of presentation the flow and wording is off at times, and some lines can be made stronger. Especially when he awakened, it seemed very casual, almost uninspired. But, either way this was a splendid presentation, especially the last 12 lines. I hope to read more.