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[Zen]

These ain't words you're reading. This is a terminal illness.
Misery needs company, and I'm lurking within it.
Hate all company. I burned all the bridges.
Walked a sociopath with the thirst of a sinner.
Watched my life slip away without knowing I did it.
Let pride get in the away of my emotional commitments.
Now I'm left with a wine tip in the tray, soda and bourbon for dinner.
Sigh, and cut the chase. Up the dosage to feel it.
Flipped my mattress over. Now there's no more indentions.
Now look the mattress over.
You'd never know she existed.

I miss her company. I miss those moments in the kitchen,
talking over dinner. The food always got cold before we finished.
Make love on the counter. Put a hold on them dishes.
But that love devoured my soul. I became emotional.

A cynic.


I pushed her away. Asked only for distance.
"Have it your way."
Her tone was different.
She packed her things, and hit the road in her Civic.
I replay those moments over hoping to forget it,
til that day I look the house over,
and don't know anyone's missing...

[Exis]

Idk if I've commented on your stuff before, if your Zenland I have I think...but yeah whatevers.This was tight from top to bottom...you have some great emotion in this and for the majority I thought your word usage was pretty crisp, seems like your thoughts come with ease and when pennin' them down shit turned out effortless without the use off overly complex content which I liked...was a real easy read, flow was straight man...dope verse.

Watched my life slip away without knowing I did it.
Let pride get in the away of my emotional commitments.
Now I'm left with a wine tip in the tray, soda and bourbon for dinner.
Sigh, and cut the chase. Up the dosage to feel it.

^^Nice.

I pushed her away. Asked only for distance.
"Have it your way."
Her tone was different.

^^Been there.

Stay upwards.

[dead man]

Flipped my mattress over. Now there's no more indentions.
Now look the mattress over.
You'd never know she existed.

[DexLabb]

idk man again, ur flow is so predictable. he just said da da dada. oh i bet hes gonna say da da dada again! OH HE DID!

terminal illness, lurking at bridges, bleh bleh bleh, boring dude. you have good ideas but u need to SPICE that bitch up. be unpredictable. be wata.

[big baby]

@dexxlabb you know he continued the scheme until the last verse, right? idiyote

[PancakeBrah]

Originally Posted by DexLabb

idk man again, ur flow is so predictable. he just said da da dada. oh i bet hes gonna say da da dada again! OH HE DID!

terminal illness, lurking at bridges, bleh bleh bleh, boring dude. you have good ideas but u need to SPICE that bitch up. be unpredictable. be wata.

You're particularly harsh for not being good at all

[DexLabb]

whenever you get a group of people together with similar interests there develops a hierarchy and beliefs. you fucking retards (and its okay) believe that writing talent is described by ability to write these half way hiphop poems. for some reason you believe the rest of the world would agree (they would laugh in your face)

i think it takes like 8 years at least to realize that shit, then you understand that writing for the masses is actually harder.. because of exponentially more forces at work that have to be satisfied

[DexLabb]

imagine writing some shit that you could post to like 1000 facebook friends and they would like that shit. imagine u posted what u post now (to a normal audience and not hipster fuck faces or bookworms) you would be embrassed. you wouldnt do it. think bout that

[DexLabb]

thats why this culture is so pseudonymous, because deep down you know you would be alienated for it

[PancakeBrah]

So you're complaining about the paradigm on the site while posting all the time on the site? What a crusader.

Get back to your never-will-happen rap career and leave us to our half hip hop poems. You're logically weak.

I'll feed this piece as penance for free posting your thread zen

[Split]

No one here cares if the world would agree. We laugh in your face, and it drives you insane. We laugh at you because you write Drake lyrics to Drake beats and post them on a manpoem message board. You wear a WWDD bracelet and sleep in a Drake blanket. You emulate sell-outs and think you're next level. You think that standing on top of a mountain makes you a mountain climber.

Nobody cares what is harder. Writing for the masses is pointless when the masses don't read what you write. If anyone here wants to do hip-hop they leave and do hip-hop. None of this is hip hop. You're absurd, and your rhyming sucks.

You can't write to this tiny audience but think that you can nail down a big one

[Split]

Nigga talkin bout posting trash twitter lyrics to facebook & getting a record deal

[Zen]

Originally Posted by Split

You emulate sell-outs and think you're next level.

You can't write to this tiny audience but think that you can nail down a big one

Wowzer

[UnbornBuddha]

This was enjoyable. The rhyme scheme was on point. It was short and sweet. The content though was not spectacular because the theme is a bit cliche even though it may have pertinent value, but still a rendition that is praise worthy due to a well done execution.

[Witty]

Originally Posted by DexLabb

imagine writing some shit that you could post to like 1000 facebook friends and they would like that shit. imagine u posted what u post now (to a normal audience and not hipster fuck faces or bookworms) you would be embrassed. you wouldnt do it. think bout that

I show my writing to everyone...because it's dope and only a handful of people are fucking with it.

Nothing to be ashamed of, I don't deal in shame, it is not my currency.

As for writing for the masses...I mean, where the masses at?

Show me these masses.

[DexLabb]

large audience is easier to hold down than a tiny one. because little marginalized fuck faces on these message boards have this twisted sense of self entitlement. mostly everyone here sucks balls, ive done what ur doing and i did it better. long ago, so what if i post here? ban my ass then

and yo, drake is not a sell out. drake > jay z

[Split]

I know your alias and you were not good and you're like 16

[big baby]

Originally Posted by DexLabb

imagine writing some shit that you could post to like 1000 facebook friends and they would like that shit. imagine u posted what u post now (to a normal audience and not hipster fuck faces or bookworms) you would be embrassed. you wouldnt do it. think bout that

I actually get more than 1000 likes with things I post not on here. I don't get your point. Say zen didn't get 1000, say he got 100. Why does everything have to be 'for the masses'

I have a few writer friends off of here and I periodically send them a few snippets of writers on here, and I will be sending him the line deadman quoted of zens. IT has content. Just because it rhymes doesn't mean shit, lol. And you'd be surprised how many non-hip-hop listeners actually like the 'flow' of things. and for the record, I've never sent anybody any of your things for them to enjoy. Cause it isnt enjoyable. Go crusade more of your fail drake songs. You'll go famous one day. And if you realized after so many years that it was useless to write particularly like this, why doesnt any of your more advanced-contempary-new-age writing reflect any of this 'skill' and 'realization'. Top tier topicalists on this site could literally tweak one or two words from the topicals, if at all and it would be enjoyed by a large audience. Get real.

[big baby]

oh damn didnt readsplits stuff nvm ether

[big baby]

dexx post these dope insightful poems and flex pieces, plz