Tabula Rasa

[UnbornBuddha]

This was a good piece.

My favorite part was:
It’s foolishness, so I hit the pad and chisel away
Unveiling the nature of every little mistake
Every sniff that I take, or the kisses I fake
It’s all subliminal rape of my Original Slate

Although it did seem you spoke more about how your original slate was lost due to the experiences that concealed the pristine potentiality that is Tabula rasa. What I mean is you spoke less of the prenatal- neonate state of Tabula Rasa, and more on the postnatal ways one has veered from this original slate with the regrets, and perversions of it. It would have been nice to see more unraveling of the topic at hand.

The rhyming was nice. A few add ons of grammar, some comas/ periods, would also make the piece flow better in terms of how it reads. But I do comprehend what you are doing. But sometimes a mechanical stopping of some sort makes the flow of the piece even more succint. Hence, making sure it's read by the reader as you had originally directed and intended the composition to be read as you did in your own mind.