:)

[JESODIST]

With the Power To Control The Breeze,
A name that's worshiped all Over The Seas,
Put in work like Honey Bees when Formin Frees,
That Make the beat in your heart Slowly Decrease,
Play river bank infront of a Locomotive Speeding,
Bro Listen They Control what my Dome's Dreaming,
My verse Glisten While You're the Ozone Receding,
Hopeless Children lost from all the Smoke they're Breathing,
So Come Sniff this line of dope till your Nose is Bleeding,
A Gory warrior Driven by the Force Within,
Not Crooked people Judging the World We Live In,
Meditated in Darkness for Ages and Centuries,
Playing catch with Grenades in the Trenches,
A Menace modified by a Shape that's Headless,
If your Faith is Endless, nothing can Break your Defenses,
I know the Score even before the Game Commences,
Creating Sentences that Penetrate your Senses,
Raw in Cypher Brawls, I Attack with Fire Balls,
Immediately Answering when Desire Calls,
A pussy scratch is no match for Tiger Claws,
A Lion in Class, So Read words from The Iron Jaws,
I was the first member From the League Of Shadows,
You Bleed Gallons Trapped in Eagle Talons,
A Tarpon living in a World with Evil Dragons,
Got Soldiers in the Battle field Shooting Cannons,
The Sequel of An Extreme Competition
With Genius People who Speak Ammunition,
This Speech is Haunted, Better Than Seeing Television,
Feel free to keep this Unrecorded, We don't Need Recognition,
Just unique beings with Parallel Dreams And Visions,
Their army of menaces can be Seen From a Distance,
The only Tenderest Remedy is to Unleash the Resistance
Have your biggest Enemies Plead For Assistance,
Believe its real this isn't no Green Screen its Existence,
Drop Scrolls till the Skies darken with the Formation of Dark Clouds,
A Rap Pro That Sparks Gold Followed by a legion of Black Crows,
Sometimes resemble a Mad Troll Dropping Whack Scrolls,
Unfold Tales Galactic and Beyond, Faster than Automatic Rounds,
Swimming with Mermaids in Aromatic Ponds,
Rivals are Temporary but still get hit with Viral Weaponry,
Disaster, A giant monster Eating your Lines like Celery,
Natural, There is No Need to write Behind a Melody,
Stellar Carnage produced by this Collision of Stars,
Cerebral Damage produced by the Incisions of Bars,
I'm Out of your jurisdiction Running a Mission in Mars,
A Majestic Artist, Poetic Savage, Burning through Pathetic Garbage,
Highly Improbable for elements to break this Genetic Bondage,
Composing Radioactive penmanship became an Explicit Addiction
With Stealth and Wit My kind is on D Brink of Extinction,
Steadiest Going up against the Mean and Deadliest,
Cold Etiquette, I Start my rise at Peak of Mount Everest,
Delegating you and your Team of Confederates,
Even though your Frees are the Cleverest,
I Get higher than a Drug Addict Above an Attic,
Flow Ecstatic, My Mind is packed with Revolving Planets,
Stare deep in the Chameleon's Medulla,
To Witness a million Different Nebulas,
I Take Acid and Shake Rapid,
Think about the Floating souls in Lake Placid,
Then Create a connection that's Telepathic,
Too Complex so don't Attack It,
Draining the Insight in Poems Right in your Bones,
I Don't Fight Clones with Bright Guns in Spite Tones,
Release Star Dust then watch them get Swallowed By Cyclones,
A Rap Creator Whose Art is Tailored to be Sharp Like a Razor,
Call me the Major Sooner or Later I Trap an Invader,
I train Greater Wrestling in Mud with a Mad Alligator,
The Name Slayer No Need for a pen Pad and Eraser,
Flow smooth like water pumping from the Heart of a Glacier,
Got enough Power contained in my Mind Like Xavier,
Which I can Unleash in the form of Cylindrical Energy Disk,
Crashing upon Whatever my Mythical Enemies Thinks,
With Cynical Wit Devise the Most Critical and Deadliest Hits,
Science explains, This is D Real definition of what Lyrical Chemistry Is,
Silence and Scared Walk around the block with an Unsteady Gaze,
Looking Like a colony of rats trapped inside a Deadly Maze,
Cause Crack smoke is nothing more than Injected Fear,
Before Egyptians An Unknown Race that was Already Here,
I Search For Opponents Outside the Earth's Hemisphere,
The one who carved all the ancient Relics Here,
Know your Limits before messing with people Invoking Spirits,
Who Stroke the Quickest, Aura so hot its Burning ya Physics,
A Breed of rappers who Struggle for the Same Cause,
They tempt the heat and then back off when the Flame Draws,
Criminals who Play Lost get prosecuted and finally Blame Laws,
The Dopest, Emcees Protest, wonder why my Frees Are so Grotesque,
Its Either Work and get along or Join the Fleet of the Hopeless,
Don't mess with people who have Enough Arsenal to Bomb You,
Cause these people will turn your tender Parts into Tofu,
I rather practice to become a legendary Master of Kung Fu,
And try to Construct a bigger Genki Dama than Goku,
Post Apocalyptic Planetarian,
Instead of just Physically Ravaging the Scene like A Barbarian,
I'll lyrically Punish you for bad behavior like a Disciplinarian,
But Your lucky cause Lately i'm more Focus on being Humanitarian,
Its obvious You don't take your life serious like the Bulgarians,
Will Never Understand nothing about beef like Vegetarians,
My flows are a combination of D Atlantic Ocean and the Mediterranean,
Brain evolved with a mentality that only Equates to Aliens,
Work out naturally that's why you find me Absent in Gymnasiums,
The Darkest Cranium reenforced with pallets of Harvested Titanium,
These scriptures will be forged in Tablets of Uranium,
All For Integrity, known to Battle Rap with Intensity,
People will say that this came from a Matchless Identity,
Claim to be spiritually awakened N Gifted with the Mystic Minds,
Battle rap Dummy you are nothing more than the Misfit Kinds,
Smoke some weed then Read my Killer instinct Rhymes,
Just to find out that we were Born in Distinct Times,
So Watch me draft Knowledge all over your Simplistic Lines,
I don't Spit Rage or assault people with a Switch Blade,
Rather protect the vita organs inside my Rib Cage,
By Eating Healthy and learning about Mind and Physics,
Brains are Pyramids these lines Inscribe like Hieroglyphics,
Stop judging the poor people and just Mind your Business,
Believe it or not this is just me Hiding my Viciousness,
Keep it calm Instead of living the Life of Wickedness,
The Most Auspicious, Reversing Thoughts of the Malicious,
Because like no one says Only torment follows A Soul that's Ambitious,
These are the Conditions Raised by a family that's So Superstitious,
They claim to know it all but most of their concepts are Fictitious,
Lighting the Chronic, Siphoning The Logic, My Legacies Iconic,
Our ancestors passed away but Their memories are Symbolic,
The way U express Urself guarantees that Anything is Possible,
That Whenever God is the way Nothing is an Obstacle,
But life takes many turns most are Funny and just Comical,
The Marvelous Rap Chronicle turning a Wannabe Whack into Particle,
A Teacher that's Methodical, My Features are Phenomenal,
Posting clever ending Scriptures with more Fiction than Monocle,
Deceiving me is Highly Improbable...

[Split]

@zygote

[JESODIST]

Whats up is that all the feedback?

[Kin]

Try giving other posts feedback....works both ways dog

[Geno]

what kin said. im getting sick of people dropping posts and no feedback around here. all of you new members on this site think its ok to just drop your shit and not feed others posts. shits about to change around here and its gonna make it harder on everyone else who does post feedback on a regular basis. if i have to enforce a two link rule before people can post there shit then i will.

i may not be as active i was once before. but im here watching shit and im getting sick of the people who take advantage of my OM's leaniancy
shits gonna change real quick if this continues. and its people like you @JESODIST that are going to be the cause of it

i better see your name in some other peoples threads soon showing that youve responded and given meaningful feedback to someones posts other than your. either that or im closing your shit and it wont be opened until you start learning how to show others the same respect your searching for.

[Vulgar]

Originally Posted by JESODIST

Whats up is that all the feedback?

lol

[JESODIST]

Genocide change is good. I'm from spokenvswritten.

[Kin]

^^Then Change!

[YDK]

Jesodist shut the fuck up ain't nobody reading this long ass bullshit when 3 outta your 4 posts on this site are in your own thread.
You're right change is good, so leave

[Kin]

ok....letz get to it....

Playing catch with Grenades in the Trenches,
A Menace modified by a Shape that's Headless,
If your Faith is Endless, nothing can Break your Defenses,
I know the Score even before the Game Commences,
Creating Sentences that Penetrate your Senses,
-this was dope

Their army of menaces can be Seen From a Distance,
The only Tenderest Remedy is to Unleash the Resistance
Have your biggest Enemies Plead For Assistance,
Believe its real this isn't no Green Screen its Existence,
-Another section that was Raw for me

Steadiest Going up against the Mean and Deadliest,
Cold Etiquette, I Start my rise at Peak of Mount Everest,
-Neva seen these rhymed before Diggin' that shit


Believe it or not this is just me Hiding my Viciousness,
Keep it calm Instead of living the Life of Wickedness,
-Nice

Daaaayyuuuum this was Long as hell... haha
parts were real nice to me but I feel it didn't need to be this long...lot of it was Filler
real abstract...lotta the styles I see here have content focused on some Otha' Shit....this fits right in...def. a nice piece tho'...intelligent writer fa' sho'

HoLLa

[JESODIST]

Thanks for reading, we all know you did. YDK You're an Ignorant person.

[YDK]

Originally Posted by JESODIST

Thanks for reading, we all know you did. YDK You're an Ignorant person.

You're asking for feed without feeding or even replying/reading anything else on the site...yeah I'm the ignorant one

[JESODIST]

Actually i am not ignorant, I'm cool, I didn't know the rules, I'll gladly give feed to get. Have you checked around? Thats what i've been doing, I plan on being an active member and investing time on this site that's why i registered. Cyphers battles anything i'll comment. Sounds like you know me from some other rap site thats why you all up in my case. Lets be friends.

[Friend Zone Fred Zim]

aye jes tdis shit raw as fuck yo u heard?

[JESODIST]

Thank you brother, My friend zygote and the unborn budha invited me here. You're so kind, I'm starting to love this place.

[Friend Zone Fred Zim]

yo, buddha dat fat niggah right? nigga wuz wise as fuck b...good shit u penning hiom

leeeeaned

[YDK]

Originally Posted by JESODIST

Actually i am not ignorant, I'm cool, I didn't know the rules, I'll gladly give feed to get. Have you checked around? Thats what i've been doing, I plan on being an active member and investing time on this site that's why i registered. Cyphers battles anything i'll comment. Sounds like you know me from some other rap site thats why you all up in my case. Lets be friends.

Fine...but only cuz you seem like you play nice

[PancakeBrah]

Don't capitalize so much. Its odd and distracting. Don't center your verse. Its horrible.

Or do. Just my preference.

This got quite repetitive. I was dubious of its length at first glance and was proven correct as I read it. There's only so many times you can say you're smart, or your lines r so d0pe, or how you'll 'spit' better than someone in one piece before the readers eyes glaze over. That happened to me before I got halfway through. The rhymes weren't good enough to enjoy this as a purely technical firework display. Most of your rhymes were (adjective)(noun) or (noun) (and/to) (noun). Which is fine in a normal length piece but gets very tedious at this length. Combine this repetitive rhyme structure with the cliche braggadacio wording and you get a hammering effect. Blah blah blah RHYME. Blah blah blah RHYME. Forever. Dully knocking me into a vegetative state. There were no crazy conceptual lines like you'd see in a top tier swag and flow verse. In the end this was mediocrity, ad nauseum.

The basics are there. I'd suggest keeping the length down and honing your technique before writing your magnum opus.

[big baby]

Didn't like it at all. You capitalize a lot which just takes away from it because it just reads lame. The structure was pretty bad too, and the internalness of it was contrived. What are you really saying though? It's like a very boring poem or brag piece combined into one hybrid nothing. "Don't judge the poor, just mind ya business." Very, very weak and broad line. I like judging the poor. It's fun. like "you smell" I don't like minding my business, I like doing whatever I want. Why don't the poor mind their business and stop trying to steal shit. how about THAT.


Just weak content, honestly. Didn't like where it was, the length was a huge turn off. Cadence was sub par, everything just screamed new to me. Tell zygote to teach you a few things.

[Geno]

kudos @zygote for refferring you here. get active with feedback pls.

i will feed this next time i visit the thread
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