MMA fighter vs. A chimpanzee , who would win

[Certain]

Originally Posted by Mike Wrecka

ya that is sad.


but



she is alive. if a trained fighter attacked her with all they had she would be dead

Chimpanzees aren't trying to kill. They're not predators hunting for a meal. They just are vicious animals riding on instinct. So when that chimpanzee beat that woman's face to a pulp, she probably passed out and stopped posing a threat. The chimpanzee then was done.

That's what it would do to a human. The only way a human could defeat a chimpanzee would be to be entirely non-threatening until making a fatal move.

[Witty]

Originally Posted by Certain

Chimpanzees aren't trying to kill. They're not predators hunting for a meal. They just are vicious animals riding on instinct. So when that chimpanzee beat that woman's face to a pulp, she probably passed out and stopped posing a threat. The chimpanzee then was done.

That's what it would do to a human. The only way a human could defeat a chimpanzee would be to be entirely non-threatening until making a fatal move.

Do chimps react basically like us or quicker?

Cuz some animals be reacting before the shit even happens, like cats.

[big baby]

Originally Posted by Certain

Chimpanzees aren't trying to kill. They're not predators hunting for a meal. They just are vicious animals riding on instinct. So when that chimpanzee beat that woman's face to a pulp, she probably passed out and stopped posing a threat. The chimpanzee then was done.

That's what it would do to a human. The only way a human could defeat a chimpanzee would be to be entirely non-threatening until making a fatal move.

You're kinda stupid. If you fight you'd know this to be silly. Strength ain't all it's cracked up to be, and technically there are humans 2-3x as strong as the 'average' human. An average human lifts about their own weight in a benchpress, have ok running times, ok leg presses, deadlifts, etc. Theres people that can do double-quadruple this. Speed kills. Suck a dick and edit some typos, bitch ass nigga. And based on your boxing predictions nigga you ain't in the position to have ultimative fucking decisions like 'THE ONLY WAY A HUMAN' stfu.

[big baby]

Originally Posted by Witty

Do chimps react basically like us or quicker?

Cuz some animals be reacting before the shit even happens, like cats.

They don't react before it happens, they just anticipate if it might happen, hence why you call a dog/cat stupid when they flinch when you were just going to pet them or you dropped something. They saw the action being made and their instincts relayed a message of caution. Granted, their reflexes are quicker hence why you think they can tell the future, but they focus primarily on body movement. Same with a crafty boxer, it seems he can see everything you're doing and is relaying it to duck/dodge but it's muscle movement/body language/kinetics. Usually to anticipate something you look at their legs since thats where most motive movement is based at, and you can react based off that. Or in boxing, usually when someone hits with a cross, you usually always have the opposite side hand up, since we don't KNOW if its coming, and usually we can't see it due to the punches plainview, but we're taught that the next hit is coming from the other side, so you cover the other side. Nah mean if you weren't a dumb ass fox you'd know cats don't react before shit happens.

[big baby]

ima chimp expert nigga chill

[Witty]

Originally Posted by @Aero baby

They don't react before it happens, they just anticipate if it might happen, hence why you call a dog/cat stupid when they flinch when you were just going to pet them or you dropped something. They saw the action being made and their instincts relayed a message of caution. Granted, their reflexes are quicker hence why you think they can tell the future, but they focus primarily on body movement. Same with a crafty boxer, it seems he can see everything you're doing and is relaying it to duck/dodge but it's muscle movement/body language/kinetics. Usually to anticipate something you look at their legs since thats where most motive movement is based at, and you can react based off that. Or in boxing, usually when someone hits with a cross, you usually always have the opposite side hand up, since we don't KNOW if its coming, and usually we can't see it due to the punches plainview, but we're taught that the next hit is coming from the other side, so you cover the other side. Nah mean if you weren't a dumb ass fox you'd know cats don't react before shit happens.

I was exaggerating.

[Batty]

Originally Posted by Split

Is the phrase "go apeshit" or "go MMAshit"? I can't seem to recall

Even if you snuck up on a chimp and put it in an armbar, it has 3 other arms and a human brain that collapses to a minuscule Masaiiize when it gets cornered

/thread

[Mike Wrecka]

Originally Posted by Certain

Chimpanzees aren't trying to kill. They're not predators hunting for a meal. They just are vicious animals riding on instinct. So when that chimpanzee beat that woman's face to a pulp, she probably passed out and stopped posing a threat. The chimpanzee then was done.

That's what it would do to a human. The only way a human could defeat a chimpanzee would be to be entirely non-threatening until making a fatal move.

isn't it interesting that its almost always women that they maul.

picture one killing/mauling all of your loved ones right in front of you, then going super saiyan on that fucker


fuck a 95 pound chimp








I actually would never want to fight one. cause you would have a very slim chance of winning.





an emperor penguin on the other hand I would love to fight to the death with

[Dominate]

Originally Posted by El Pancake

chimp

/thread

Lol @ a 4 page discussion

[big baby]

Originally Posted by Dominate

Lol @ a 4 page discussion

nig u fucka serious u got a fucka kangaroo with boxing gloves foh

[uh-oh]

[big baby]

Originally Posted by uh-oh

aiight idk if i want to fight a chimp anymore tbh

[uh-oh]

thats the one from the pic someone posted earlier

basically a 200 lb male chimpanzee was living with a woman for years, she would give it wine, let it watch tv, bathe and sleep with it. well one day it was getting wild, so she called her friend over like help me with this chimp, im pretty sure it got out if i remember right, like it was in the yard and the owner couldnt get it back in

her friend also knew the chimp since it was young and was familiar with it.

well her friend had a toy or something in her hand that just pissed it off and it attacked

it ATE HER HANDS, because again they understand how hands work. then it worked its way to her face, by which time she was passed out from blood loss/shock/whatever

the owner stabbed it. not like cut it, but fucking stabbed it in the back, stuck the knife in it.

the chimp looked back like wtf are you doing i thought we were homies??? the owner shrieked and fled, and the chimp already preoccupied with eating her friends face a strip at a time, gave her time to call police, which is that 911 call

if you notice at the end the dudes like

"its ok they are shooting him mam" or whatever and she's like "HE'S NOT DEAD THO" and the dudes like "they will continue shooting until he is dead"

lmao shit got real

[Certain]

Originally Posted by uh-oh

basically a 200 lb male chimpanzee was living with a woman for years, she would give it wine, let it watch tv, bathe and sleep with it.

[Split]

"My chimpanzee has gone off its fucking rocker"
"K be over 1 sec"

Lol dumb bitch

Originally Posted by @Aero baby

nig u fucka serious u got a fucka kangaroo with boxing gloves foh

U know how dangerous those big kangaroos are son? They dont fuck around. Go within 5 metres of one and he will stand on his tail and kick you back 10 foot whilst cutting your abdomen open from his talons. Them shits r vicious fuck fighting them, id be up a tree if one of them came at me, bro.

[TYSON]

Uh Oh with the haymaker....this is over with now, right?

[big baby]

Originally Posted by Masaii

U know how dangerous those big kangaroos are son? They dont fuck around. Go within 5 metres of one and he will stand on his tail and kick you back 10 foot whilst cutting your abdomen open from his talons. Them shits r vicious fuck fighting them, id be up a tree if one of them came at me, bro.

allthat working out?

A WASTE

[big baby]

holy fuck this is her

[PancakeBrah]

not bad