BA S&F Tourney Magazine

[Paradigm]

Swag & Flow Magazine
What's up you purple striped polo, dad jean wearing, chin strap having, celebrity catfishing, anti swag beta homotextuals?!?! or should I say alpha homotextuals? EITHER way... fuck you. I'm the host of this shit, Paradigm. Welcome to the Swag and Flow mini Tourney mini Magazine loaded with some huge talent. Pause. No homo. No bigbabytryingtoinseminateothermenandwatchingundert elescopes. Headlining this tourney are some real heavy hitters, Finalist Orc, Former Champ Neighbor and the NBL Champion Alvin Karpis. If you are not excited to read bars from the three of them then there must be something wrong with you.

BA Swag and Flow Tournament I Highlights

The Finals Cashius [VS Orc

Cashius:

I'll pee on you peasants...
Chicks receiving my message without even a sentence...that night, I'm beatin' it senseless
Not just leaving'em pregnant, my seed is aggressive.
A bitches egg...it's taking it hostage, makes it an omelet and eats it for breakfast
Walk in a hospital chock fulla cancerous folks...laugh as they croak, call'em Casper the Ghost
I'm cracking some jokes as people glare at me...go to a mean old man on chemotherapy and ask for a toke
Blowing piff in the sky, mixed with some wine, a couple Vicodin...I'm fucking hype then I'm fixing to die
Who's sicker than I? This guy don't lose, got a style so smooth...I could iron out a wrinkle in time with the blink of an eye
I've got swagger and nuts. I'm a savage as such...Those are facts, I ain't bluffing
If that ass is just plump then Cashius is fucking. I'm a sex tyrant, soon as she says "himen"...THAT'S what I'm busting
Bring me a preacher. I'm turning heads and shit like the girl in Exorcist...binging on ether
A goon is born. Bring brutal war to a unicorn...and I'm picking my teeth with that mythical creatures physical features
I'm the Man of Steel. Damn, I'm real. Fuck Christopher Reeves, if I was to sit in his seat...
I'd hit on some weed...jump out of the chair, de-flower a pair of gals in the rear...pound on'em bare until I get a disease
Show me someone as cool as Cashius. Nobody that smooth...I'm busting the tool, you bastid's...
Got tons of the loot. I've got a dough syndrome and a grosssss income...and that's got nothing to do with taxes

Orc:

Da Don.

Hollows dnt knock twice. Ima mad ripped Brad Pitt, bitches wana swallow da cock right
You ain't THAT kid. if Cash getting his Sack gripped... it's followed by ''Cough Twice''
I'm the Martyr of War. Got the heart for a Brawl.. leave Cash rabid & in parts on the floor
The rap addict, grab ya nans Black wig 'Fly thru the air & take a Stab at it'.. no Darts in a Board
U trying to shoot often? Dog, you'll die if you do Cock it, u'll lie ina Blue coffin
Wana lose ya Health. Well.. then Suit Yaself & we ain't talking Buying no New Closet
This bastards gay.. yo I ain't evil, I'm Hot. Cash look feeble w/ rot & dreams of the top
Since u passed away, ya girl cut my pic & Masturbate. They calling me the Cream of the Crop
Stop hating, ya girl be loving my wording as well. She said you nervous as hell
Ur Caucasian. No.. I said your Cock Asian, it whispers ''Sorry Father, I failed u'' & tries to murder itself
I'm the sickest Head, you'll be lifted dead. Orc's Heracles when the Herald speaks
I'll put an end to this Chicken Head.. & we ain't talking Preparing Feasts or Tearing Meat
U'll lay broken in defeat n' opened in the street. U emboldened w. retreat but it's dead wrong
I'll choke him in his sleep.. dump the body & Have him 'Rolling in the Deep' like Adelles song

Other Highlights

ill nik-A [VS] Chyeahhh Guevara
I'm the shit and a good father, aint another nigga better, sir
for instance, gettin' my daughter a shoulder launcher for Christmas, helps out with those Predators


ill nik-A [VS] Chyeahhh Guevara
H20 storage is plenty, I piss and replenish instantly, dying of thirst? a mere memory
Jesus turned water to wine, and he came over and converted mine to an old age stock distillery

Orc [VS] Innovator
In lamens im too Fly, insane w/ the moves guy, faster than Rain in a Blue Sky
I'd play Five Finger Roullete with the Blade of Battousai after a Table of Moonshine

Orc [VS] Innovator
There's no Revival, Im the only Rival. my techs move in haste n' by stealth
Fucka Broken Idol, I wrote da Bible after Coke & Five Pills then Excommunicated myself

Paradigm [VS] Aesthetic
tap into multiple chakrahs without a changing a trance
1080 double back flip from a handstand to the crane stance on the fucking same branch

Cashius [VS] ill nik-A
Call a therapist, I swear I'm sick. I'll scare your chick with a pair of Schicks and laugh
I'll bury Nik...you BARELY hit me, fag. My text so ill, I possess more skill than Aero THINKS he has

Cashius [VS] ill nik-A
Let's speak on the truth. On any given day...Twenty bitches may be seen leaving my room
Believe I'm the dude, a beast from the womb. But yo, I'm grown...a Rolling Stone, the one that opened Jesus' tomb

Objective [VS] Orc
An ancient thinker, the reincarnation of philosophy's best;
I gave Freud his schizophrenia and beat Sun Tzu at chess.

Objective [VS] Orc
Let the ruckus flow: U going where the Dead Heading. Throw a Noose on him, just a Joke
I'm cooking dope - was at the Red Wedding during the Head Wetting & told Roose Bolton to fuck a Goat

Predictions

Orc [VS] Camp Bell
Orc was the finalist of the last S&F tournament. He has clever references relating to nerdom and the hardcore aspects of S&F. He is very well rounded. Camp Bell isn't a slouch. I read one of his open mics and hes got a few schemes but to beat Orc he will need way better concepts.

Winner: Orc 80/20

ill fig-A [VS] King Ra.
Fig is a creative writer who brings a pretty good sense of humor to his bars. Humor in swag bars I think is definitely underrated. King Ra brings some good references and a certain rawness to his verses.

Winner: King Ra. 55/45

Neighbor [VS] Chyeahhh Guevara
Neighbor is known around these parts as one of if not the best at S&F. His style is hardcore to horrorcore to some nerdom references all in a tight package. That's what S&F is all about. Chyeahhh is the Aero of S&F, He talks a lot about being the best but when it comes down to it he gets beaten by all of the top people, lol, no hate i'm just saying, he needs to slow his role. Chyeahhh does have the potential to drop dope bars and there is a little bad blood behind this matchup, expect some flames from both.

Winner: Neighbor 70/30

Alvin Karpis [VS] jitli
Alvin is the NBL champion. HoF on Netcees. Can he convert his punchline prowess to S&F? I think so but it remains to be seen. jitli seems to grasp texting at a semi high level. He could bring it to the S&F arena and pull an upset but my money is on Alvin here.

Winner: Alvin Karpis 85/15

BA Questionnaire with ill fig-A

Give us a small intro about you and your Textcee past.

I liked writing raps so I came to NC in 2013 a couple weeks before the crash. I've been here ever since.

What is Swag and Flow to you?

Half swag, half flow. You are trying to out Action Bronson your opponent.

Do you like the word swag?

No I fucking hate it. Whenever I read it, I start jizzing out the eyes and foaming at the mouth. Na I feel pretty indifferent towards it.

What is an Alpha and Beta?

It's a really good OM piece by @ zygote you should check it out

What is an acceptable jean fashion?

Tight enough for you to see my bulge. So pretty damn tight. Or Dames Jean.

Who do you think is the G.O.A.T Textcee? S&F?

As far as textcees on this site go, I think the talent level plateaus in a way that I can't differentiate between good textcees, and great textcees. I like Neighbor though. S&F goes to bb da big bitch

Who do you think is the most Overrated Textcee on Netcees?

Me. Even considering me a textcee is giving me too much.

Who do you want to see battle here on Netcees? S&F?

Chyeahhh and bb.

Who is the biggest homotextual on Netcees?

You, for using the word homotextual.

Would you inseminate another man and watch under a telescope?

First off, you can't inseminate another man, idiot. Second of all, you don't watch things under a fucking telescope. So I'm fucking some dude in the pussy with a big ass telescope, all awkward and in the way of me fucking him, is that what you're envisioning?

Who would you fight in real life if you could from Netcees?

Malachi. I would fucking murder him. And knock his mom up and name the baby malachi, and raise it to be cooler than malachi 1.0 never was.

S&F Bags beard vs. Barcotic chin strap, who wins?

Don't know who Barcotic is, but I'm rocking the chin strap so that + fuck bags = Barcotic instantly

What do you think about trolling?

I don't!

1000$ fine and suspended license or high in the comfort of your own home?

How about both, plus ya mom's fat muff brush in my teeth crevices.

Do you have any recent works you would like to link us to?

No, just my battle when it's open for votes. Make sure to vote for me!

What do you think about Paradigm and Knucklehead taking over the text section?

It's already benefiting the site. Sure, there's a bunch of tourneys and shit going off at once right now, but members are a lot more inspired so I'm sure they'll go over just great.

Who is behind all of these wolf tags?

I've never made a wolf tag. Veritas. And followers.

Religion on Netcees. Is our culture in danger?

I don't even

Is there anything you would like to see happen here in the Battle Arena?

I want to see it DESTROYED AND I WILL STOP AT NOTHING!

You must choose. Inseminate Robranda or be inseminated by big baby? Explain.

BB. Then we'll have fig baby who raps and shoots lazers from the peener. If I knocked up Robranda, it'd just be retarded.

Do you regret taking this questionnaire?

Yeah


Outro

After looking back on the first tournament I have to say, A lot of you are wack and I wasn't that impressed with to many of the lines, the ones I quoted were pretty good imo but we can do better than that. Lets make this mini tourney dope. If successful I would love to set up things like this more often so let's make it a good one.

[big baby]

dopetastic. Continue doing good for your people.

[big baby]

telescopes* first paragraph

[Blanco Bishop]

Fire.

[King Ra.]

Good stuff.

Cool read.

[Paradigm]

Let the ruckus flow: U going where the Dead Heading. Throw a Noose on him, just a Joke
I'm cooking dope - was at the Red Wedding during the Head Wetting & told Roose Bolton to fuck a Goat

LOL i laughed so hard at this @Orc

[Orc]

set up needs work :/

thx tho bro

[Doug Funny]

Damn Wtf I am swag, I could a killed this shit son

[Paradigm]

Originally Posted by Orc

set up needs work :/

thx tho bro

word.

Originally Posted by Doug Funny

Damn Wtf I am swag, I could a killed this shit son

lol, put in work.

[Paradigm]

@Neighbor @Orc @Camp Bell @King Ra. @Chyeahhh Guevara @jilti @Alvin Karpis

You guys need to vote please.

[Ghost1]

Champ match w orc vs cashius was hot.