Round 2: 7. timeless vs. 2. Vividlyvague \\ timeless wins 3-2

YDK · 07-11-2014, 10:25 PM

Hmm this kinda threw me off tbh lol funny how you both used your user names in the piece btw.
So yeah, Timeless your piece was a bit sporadic, I get the idea you were going for and that chaos is always a big factor in dreams so props on pulling that part off, but I felt the details could have been established more because with dreams (for me atleast) emotion is the strongest suit so for the randomness you were going for it worked but lacked all emotion. if you could have slipped in a bit more emotion and focused on one or 2 dreams I feel this would have been epic. but for what it is it's still a solid piece with a strong flow and cool ending.
Vivid, your piece seemed to be on track to take on timeless' and beat it but with how short it was and how quickly it ended I cant help but feel left wanting. it was cool, flowed great, and had a lot of potential but surprisingly it failed to reach it as it rarely does in my experience's reading your pieces.
I gotta vote Timeless here for the more complete piece. dope shit fellas

07-11-2014, 10:25 PM	#5
YDK ghost in the matrix Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: Covington, KY Posts: 4,563 Battle Record: 14-25 Champed - Art of Writing League (x2) - Lime Green Poetry Association Rep Power: 8181113	Hmm this kinda threw me off tbh lol funny how you both used your user names in the piece btw. So yeah, Timeless your piece was a bit sporadic, I get the idea you were going for and that chaos is always a big factor in dreams so props on pulling that part off, but I felt the details could have been established more because with dreams (for me atleast) emotion is the strongest suit so for the randomness you were going for it worked but lacked all emotion. if you could have slipped in a bit more emotion and focused on one or 2 dreams I feel this would have been epic. but for what it is it's still a solid piece with a strong flow and cool ending. Vivid, your piece seemed to be on track to take on timeless' and beat it but with how short it was and how quickly it ended I cant help but feel left wanting. it was cool, flowed great, and had a lot of potential but surprisingly it failed to reach it as it rarely does in my experience's reading your pieces. I gotta vote Timeless here for the more complete piece. dope shit fellas __________________