AOWL Week 6: Vinzr (3-0) VS. Adonis (2-0) [ADONIS WINS, 12-0.]

Exoduzt · 03-25-2013, 03:40 PM

Adonis: This was some very in depth writing. You sucked me in rite in the beginning and you kept my interest from beginning till end. This was classic story telling at its best. The second section of this piece was def my favorite

"Tired of the fighting. The greed and gluttony,
The tummy tuck so the gullet can feed comfortably,
Where Lee Dungarees are the size shaped of a spoon,
and being skinny's force fed by the view in the tube,"---this was great rite here

you ended it really nicely as well. The perspective you took on this was nice. Overall great verse

Vinzr: This was pretty good. i didn't notice anything that was crazy lyrically and the flow was just a bit too choppy for my liking. The way you looked at the concept was cool tho. The story telling was nice and steady. I was diggin' that. I wish you would have been a bit more in depth with it tho. A little more personal.

MVGT Adonis. Just an overall better story and piece overall. This was a great battle tho but Adoni in my opinion won this

03-25-2013, 03:40 PM	#13
Exoduzt Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 39 Battle Record: 0-2 Rep Power: 38	Adonis: This was some very in depth writing. You sucked me in rite in the beginning and you kept my interest from beginning till end. This was classic story telling at its best. The second section of this piece was def my favorite "Tired of the fighting. The greed and gluttony, The tummy tuck so the gullet can feed comfortably, Where Lee Dungarees are the size shaped of a spoon, and being skinny's force fed by the view in the tube,"---this was great rite here you ended it really nicely as well. The perspective you took on this was nice. Overall great verse Vinzr: This was pretty good. i didn't notice anything that was crazy lyrically and the flow was just a bit too choppy for my liking. The way you looked at the concept was cool tho. The story telling was nice and steady. I was diggin' that. I wish you would have been a bit more in depth with it tho. A little more personal. MVGT Adonis. Just an overall better story and piece overall. This was a great battle tho but Adoni in my opinion won this __________________