IS BIG GAME REGISTERED HERE YET!??! LMFAOAHSKAANA WELCOME TO AOB FAGIT AHAHA

[Big Game]

Originally Posted by Sn00p

You're not even that bad. If you battled here some more and started to weed out your played lines, you could become decent. As I said, line wordplay is really old. And that's not a good look. Same with the head south bar. That kinda shit is too simple. But yeah, you have the basics down.

Oh and Kony is from Uganda. Not South Africa. Just a little heads-up.

Yea well he still terrorizes S Africans (or ar least did)
I aint disagreeing that the verse isn't top notch - definitely aint my best and like I said I wrote that verse very quickly. And I had no info on dude - he has like 5 posts and no info except his location.
I can deal with the criticism - but now you produce something.

[Sn00p]

Originally Posted by Big Game

Yea well he still terrorizes S Africans (or ar least did)
I aint disagreeing that the verse isn't top notch - definitely aint my best and like I said I wrote that verse very quickly. And I had no info on dude - he has like 5 posts and no info except his location.
I can deal with the criticism - but now you produce something.

"The LRA operates in Uganda, the Democratic Republic of Congo, Central African Republic and South Sudan."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Kony

Nope.

Anyways, here's a verse for you.

u're generic as fuck. every1 would say u're a real herb
cuz ur verses ain't direct'or personnel...& mine are scorsese collaborating w/ spielberg
plus we germans had cruel ways to leave jews and such deceased
but if u kill some1 w/ 'gas, strik'...it stems from that area of ur body, u disgusting freak
& dude's working in a restaurant. but for this bitch, it's decent
his american dream: from dishwasher to dishwasher not addicted to kitchen cleaners
dirty bitch. u wanted to join a jamaican posse & everyone gave u hell
they said stay away from the shower. ur pics show u followed that advice way too well
plus getting beat up for the n-word doesn't make u strong or hard
i bet u loved watching the django premiere, but cheered at all the wrongest parts
see, i'm edgy cuz my old girl won't accept she must now fly solo
...the only kind of denying ex tension YOU know is the way u won ur 1st rd by noshow
& strik knows what a real redneck has to do after getting down w/ a hottie
he doesn't care who that Horus. he'll just Falcon punch the kid outta her body

If you don't get a line, ask me. It's probably a personal.

[Big Game]

Anyways, here's a verse for you.

u're generic as fuck. every1 would say u're a real herb
cuz ur verses ain't direct'or personnel...& mine are scorsese collaborating w/ spielberg

This right here had some creativity but it is self-glory and don't cut it where I'm from. Maybe if there is a little bit in the set up or beginning of the punchline but not for the end of the punch. Putting that self-glory at the end is meaning that it's what you want the punch to be based on.

plus we germans had cruel ways to leave jews and such deceased
but if u kill some1 w/ 'gas, strik'...it stems from that area of ur body, u disgusting freak

I don't like how you ended the punch here. It is on some amateur shit if you ask me (you disgusting freak)

& dude's working in a restaurant. but for this bitch, it's decent
his american dream: from dishwasher to dishwasher not addicted to kitchen cleaners

That didn't rhyme for me. (decent/cleaners) I mean, I know what a slant rhyme is but that was forced.
And I don't understand this at all

dirty bitch. u wanted to join a jamaican posse & everyone gave u hell
they said stay away from the shower. ur pics show u followed that advice way too well

Yea, don't get this. It's definitely a personal that i would need filled in on

plus getting beat up for the n-word doesn't make u strong or hard
i bet u loved watching the django premiere, but cheered at all the wrongest parts

Lol - that was funny but not too much more complex than my shit

see, i'm edgy cuz my old girl won't accept she must now fly solo
...the only kind of denying ex tension YOU know is the way u won ur 1st rd by noshow

Damn - LA don't give wins for No-Show - it just goes to No Mans Land. I guess dudes name was ex?

& strik knows what a real redneck has to do after getting down w/ a hottie
he doesn't care who that Horus. he'll just Falcon punch the kid outta her body

More nameplay: it's hard to judge this because there is a lot of history within it. But I can tell you that it is all that complex.
Just being real with you

[Sn00p]

Originally Posted by Big Game

Anyways, here's a verse for you.

u're generic as fuck. every1 would say u're a real herb
cuz ur verses ain't direct'or personnel...& mine are scorsese collaborating w/ spielberg

This right here had some creativity but it is self-glory and don't cut it where I'm from. Maybe if there is a little bit in the set up or beginning of the punchline but not for the end of the punch. Putting that self-glory at the end is meaning that it's what you want the punch to be based on.

Well, I'm clearly dissing him. But as I say that I am better at what I criticized him for, I can see how you might call this self-glory.

plus we germans had cruel ways to leave jews and such deceased
but if u kill some1 w/ 'gas, strik'...it stems from that area of ur body, u disgusting freak

I don't like how you ended the punch here. It is on some amateur shit if you ask me (you disgusting freak)

Okay. Oh, it was a nameplay by the way, as my opponent's name was Strikta.

& dude's working in a restaurant. but for this bitch, it's decent
his american dream: from dishwasher to dishwasher not addicted to kitchen cleaners

That didn't rhyme for me. (decent/cleaners) I mean, I know what a slant rhyme is but that was forced.
And I don't understand this at all

Well, he did work as a dishwasher at that time. And he had a reputation of getting high on cleaning detergents. Plus you know what the American dream is: From dishwasher to millionaire. Also: clean·er noun \ˈklē-nər\ and de·cent adjective \ˈdē-sənt\. Notice how the vowel sounds are exactly the same? ē and ē and ə and ə.

dirty bitch. u wanted to join a jamaican posse & everyone gave u hell
they said stay away from the shower. ur pics show u followed that advice way too well

Yea, don't get this. It's definitely a personal that i would need filled in on

He wanted to join a gang called Jamaican Shower Posse.

plus getting beat up for the n-word doesn't make u strong or hard
i bet u loved watching the django premiere, but cheered at all the wrongest parts

Lol - that was funny but not too much more complex than my shit

It wasn't meant to be complex, as it relied on its humor. Yes.

see, i'm edgy cuz my old girl won't accept she must now fly solo
...the only kind of denying ex tension YOU know is the way u won ur 1st rd by noshow

Damn - LA don't give wins for No-Show - it just goes to No Mans Land. I guess dudes name was ex?

People that are noshowed on have to advance in a tournament obviously. And no, dude's name wasn't ex. I'm talking about the girl I referred to in the setup.

& strik knows what a real redneck has to do after getting down w/ a hottie
he doesn't care who that Horus. he'll just Falcon punch the kid outta her body

More nameplay: it's hard to judge this because there is a lot of history within it. But I can tell you that it is all that complex.
Just being real with you

Not a nameplay at all. Horus/whore is. Horus is an Egyptian god with a falcon head.

That should make it clearer.