Stakes.

Certain · 06-11-2014, 05:15 AM

I'm a broken record, skipping pebbles across the pond.
A rebel who lost his cause, stubble accosts the jaw.
Debonair? Probably not. Neckless turtle conforming to shell.
Dormant; swore it was hell but cursively mourned it myself
in letters that never meant anything until they served as a portrait befell.
Blazing arrow, regifted but misguided, tortured, repelled.
You pulled that excuse out of your ass. Of course it would smell.
I enter to a coroner's knell. But this isn't about death.
I promise, this isn't about death. I promise.
I've written my bounced checks.
This isn't about death.
I promise.
Did I mention I'm a consummate liar conquering rhythms without depth?
Feel that bass drop. That's a fish. It wriggled from our nets.
Now we're all going to starve. But this isn't about death.
We're turning over in comfortable linens in our beds,
trying to get the tuck right as we fidget and count threads.
But maybe there's more to this than digits and loud sex.
No, that can't be right. Let's revisit the crowd's bets.
They want exquisitely loud sex, with gymnastic contortions,
and gold-wire coat-hangers for more-dapper abortions.
Let's recast our extortions as the economy forces a trickle-down,
but when I ride with the chrome, there's no horses or triple crowns.

david stern razor burns · 06-13-2014, 03:10 AM

Really dope actually, this is getting snoozed on so far. The flow was smooth, wording was sharp, metaphors were good. A few quotables for sure. The excuse out of your ass line being the most crowd pleasing. Good to see you doing verses again, Certain.

Geno · 06-13-2014, 07:40 AM

I'm a broken record, skipping pebbles across the pond.
A rebel who lost his cause, stubble accosts the jaw.
Debonair? Probably not. Neckless turtle conforming to shell.
Dormant; swore it was hell but cursively mourned it myself
in letters that never meant anything until they served as a portrait befell.
Blazing arrow, regifted but misguided, tortured, repelled.
You pulled that excuse out of your ass. Of course it would smell.

that opening segment was fucking insane @Certain.
actually makes me inspired to wanna change the record my damn self tbh. fucking dope display of descriptive talent. very intensely layed out.

thats a skill ive always loved. nasty

e11even · 06-14-2014, 03:30 AM

Your open mic persona is far from your topical AOWL stuff. I like freeverse Certain more. Both are good, but you did a great job on this.

06-11-2014, 05:15 AM	#1
Certain Mad fucking dangerous. Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 12,072 Battle Record: 40-19 Champed - AOWL Season 3 - Art of Writing League (2x) Rep Power: 85899403	Stakes. I'm a broken record, skipping pebbles across the pond. A rebel who lost his cause, stubble accosts the jaw. Debonair? Probably not. Neckless turtle conforming to shell. Dormant; swore it was hell but cursively mourned it myself in letters that never meant anything until they served as a portrait befell. Blazing arrow, regifted but misguided, tortured, repelled. You pulled that excuse out of your ass. Of course it would smell. I enter to a coroner's knell. But this isn't about death. I promise, this isn't about death. I promise. I've written my bounced checks. This isn't about death. I promise. Did I mention I'm a consummate liar conquering rhythms without depth? Feel that bass drop. That's a fish. It wriggled from our nets. Now we're all going to starve. But this isn't about death. We're turning over in comfortable linens in our beds, trying to get the tuck right as we fidget and count threads. But maybe there's more to this than digits and loud sex. No, that can't be right. Let's revisit the crowd's bets. They want exquisitely loud sex, with gymnastic contortions, and gold-wire coat-hangers for more-dapper abortions. Let's recast our extortions as the economy forces a trickle-down, but when I ride with the chrome, there's no horses or triple crowns.

06-13-2014, 07:40 AM	#3
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,330 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036758	I'm a broken record, skipping pebbles across the pond. A rebel who lost his cause, stubble accosts the jaw. Debonair? Probably not. Neckless turtle conforming to shell. Dormant; swore it was hell but cursively mourned it myself in letters that never meant anything until they served as a portrait befell. Blazing arrow, regifted but misguided, tortured, repelled. You pulled that excuse out of your ass. Of course it would smell. that opening segment was fucking insane @Certain. actually makes me inspired to wanna change the record my damn self tbh. fucking dope display of descriptive talent. very intensely layed out. thats a skill ive always loved. nasty __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

06-14-2014, 03:30 AM	#4
e11even V.V Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: . Posts: 2,076 Battle Record: 31-20 Rep Power: 6247256	Your open mic persona is far from your topical AOWL stuff. I like freeverse Certain more. Both are good, but you did a great job on this. __________________ Ahem.

06-13-2014, 03:10 AM	#2
david stern razor burns with razor spurs Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: At David Blaine's favorite place with David Spade and Macy Gray Posts: 87 Rep Power: 3750187	Really dope actually, this is getting snoozed on so far. The flow was smooth, wording was sharp, metaphors were good. A few quotables for sure. The excuse out of your ass line being the most crowd pleasing. Good to see you doing verses again, Certain.