AOWL Week 6: Objective (0-1) VS. Ink (1-1) [INK WINS, 9-4.]

zygote · 03-23-2013, 09:53 PM

Objective some nice characterization, giving details that were unexpected such as the skull-panda stuff. Only criticism is some parts are worded in a strange way (E.g., reversed cultivation). Would have like to see you give the story some life the same way you gave the character life.

Ink reminds of a classic poem by Pablo Neruda called "Ode to the Lemon," high praise for your writing here, no criticisms. At first it seemed like you had some strange wording but it was actually brilliant. E.g., braille purrs - seems strange but it is interesting because blind people run fingers over the braille in the same way to pet a cat. There were just a lot of association things like this to make it very interesting. Voted for Ink.

03-23-2013, 09:53 PM	#8
zygote Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 501 Battle Record: 33-12 Accomplishments - OM HOF (2x) Champed - Art of Writing League (3x) Rep Power: 737828	Objective some nice characterization, giving details that were unexpected such as the skull-panda stuff. Only criticism is some parts are worded in a strange way (E.g., reversed cultivation). Would have like to see you give the story some life the same way you gave the character life. Ink reminds of a classic poem by Pablo Neruda called "Ode to the Lemon," high praise for your writing here, no criticisms. At first it seemed like you had some strange wording but it was actually brilliant. E.g., braille purrs - seems strange but it is interesting because blind people run fingers over the braille in the same way to pet a cat. There were just a lot of association things like this to make it very interesting. Voted for Ink.