Zack and Screech Beat the Communists...at chess!!

Zen · 06-07-2014, 11:49 PM

I'm starting to get angrier, my fists grip the bars. The trial commenced in March. Prosecutors submitted charges in a file that's thick and coarse while I smile like a Minotaur with my teeth gnashing. My enemies keep gasping.

"Silence in the court!!"

In my eyelids sits a door that I climb in when I'm bored to see whats happening.
Peak through the seams of the fabric of each belief. It's magic.

Sometimes I'm high on life. Skipping home as birds sing in the shining light within the grove.

Sometimes I'm tryna fight each time I'm hyped on adrenochrome. Slicing/riding with demons going ninety riding deep in droves. My eyes are violent. Gun sighted, bullets flying at each ya domes.

Then I turn the corner and I'm whistling Andy Griffith. Kickin's rocks and stones down in sandy ditches with a battalion of Marxists out crashing the markets with hatchets in our parkas.You faggots don't alarm us. We'll bash in your apartments and attach fuse to sawdust and blast through your dharma.

Social restrictions to the impoverished based solely on existence.
The total of inflicted are honored to pay their lowly commission in homage to they who drove them to tenements.
Calmly, unfazed with the richest men who locked em in their cage they've withered in.
Then the Communists came with Dr. Che and the militiamen.
They stopped him, okay, but the doctrines unchanged for when the communist wave makes em stammer and tremble; the populous reigns with a hammer and sickle.

Yayyyy!!

Frank · 06-08-2014, 12:28 AM

Bonkers bro. Bonkers.

Geno · 06-10-2014, 02:28 PM

runonononono. lol, what were you up to here zen? iono
fun read though -a lot of rediculous ideas in it. cool syllables/multies. obviously no true meaning to gain from it -not that i can tell anyway. cool shit. keep dropping/feeding. 1

Geno · 06-10-2014, 05:54 PM

oh, well...... maybe there was some political shit going on in there that didnt even strike me until this second read. read it twice cause like i said -fun read. keep writing

Zen · 06-10-2014, 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Genocide

oh, well...... maybe there was some political shit going on in there that didnt even strike me until this second read. read it twice cause like i said -fun read. keep writing

Geno · 06-10-2014, 07:23 PM

Lmao. I know. I know. Haha

dead man · 06-11-2014, 12:01 AM

Sometimes I'm high on life. Skipping home as birds sing in the shining light within the grove.
Sometimes I'm tryna fight each time I'm hyped on adrenochrome.

it always takes more than one read for me to catch all the rhyme work you weave into something like this. not sure how intentional that may be but it works in your favor given the attention deficit that plagues most of us in here. or maybe not?

i am not quite sure whether i love or hate this particular aspect of your writing. its fun to read but not very transporting. the term transporting refers to the ability of any medium to take an observer outside themselves for the moment. immerse them in your work.

this was lightweight for you but it looked like a lot of fun to write and it was entertaining at the least. almost poppy in a sense.

keep your keeping on dear buddhai.

1

06-07-2014, 11:49 PM	#1
Zen Arm the Homeless Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,104 Battle Record: 22-24 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 35079719	Zack and Screech Beat the Communists...at chess!! I'm starting to get angrier, my fists grip the bars. The trial commenced in March. Prosecutors submitted charges in a file that's thick and coarse while I smile like a Minotaur with my teeth gnashing. My enemies keep gasping. "Silence in the court!!" In my eyelids sits a door that I climb in when I'm bored to see whats happening. Peak through the seams of the fabric of each belief. It's magic. Sometimes I'm high on life. Skipping home as birds sing in the shining light within the grove. Sometimes I'm tryna fight each time I'm hyped on adrenochrome. Slicing/riding with demons going ninety riding deep in droves. My eyes are violent. Gun sighted, bullets flying at each ya domes. Then I turn the corner and I'm whistling Andy Griffith. Kickin's rocks and stones down in sandy ditches with a battalion of Marxists out crashing the markets with hatchets in our parkas.You faggots don't alarm us. We'll bash in your apartments and attach fuse to sawdust and blast through your dharma. Social restrictions to the impoverished based solely on existence. The total of inflicted are honored to pay their lowly commission in homage to they who drove them to tenements. Calmly, unfazed with the richest men who locked em in their cage they've withered in. Then the Communists came with Dr. Che and the militiamen. They stopped him, okay, but the doctrines unchanged for when the communist wave makes em stammer and tremble; the populous reigns with a hammer and sickle. Yayyyy!!

06-08-2014, 12:28 AM	#2
Frank Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 3,228 Champed - NWL Season 2 - Art of Writing League (5x) - Lime Green Poetry Association - AOWL Season 6 - AOWL Season 10 Rep Power: 3853344	Bonkers bro. Bonkers. __________________ *VETWORK*

06-10-2014, 02:28 PM	#3
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,330 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036758	runonononono. lol, what were you up to here zen? iono fun read though -a lot of rediculous ideas in it. cool syllables/multies. obviously no true meaning to gain from it -not that i can tell anyway. cool shit. keep dropping/feeding. 1 __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

06-10-2014, 05:54 PM	#4
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,330 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036758	oh, well...... maybe there was some political shit going on in there that didnt even strike me until this second read. read it twice cause like i said -fun read. keep writing __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

06-10-2014, 07:23 PM	#6
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,330 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036758	Lmao. I know. I know. Haha __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

06-11-2014, 12:01 AM	#7
dead man living Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,469 Battle Record: 33-18 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - AOWL Season 1 - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 4 - Write Week V - GWL Season 1 Rep Power: 77606676	Sometimes I'm high on life. Skipping home as birds sing in the shining light within the grove. Sometimes I'm tryna fight each time I'm hyped on adrenochrome. it always takes more than one read for me to catch all the rhyme work you weave into something like this. not sure how intentional that may be but it works in your favor given the attention deficit that plagues most of us in here. or maybe not? i am not quite sure whether i love or hate this particular aspect of your writing. its fun to read but not very transporting. the term transporting refers to the ability of any medium to take an observer outside themselves for the moment. immerse them in your work. this was lightweight for you but it looked like a lot of fun to write and it was entertaining at the least. almost poppy in a sense. keep your keeping on dear buddhai. 1 __________________ Zack Wicks for president