im jus asking, im jus asking...all first verse, all first verse!!

[Nice]

This was pretty dope, kinda scattered in content but i see you trying some new thing.. I think if u just spend a little more time on word choice you will improve a great deal. Say for instance when u said " aww shit, i've lost it, have you seen how i flow?.." the word how sound really harsh there. I would have used the word "the" its basically only there for syllable count anyways but the word the is more invisible then how if u understand what im trying to say. Same with this line.. im greatly honored to display my ponders of raging proverbs you could completely abolish the word "my" and it would still make sense and sound better. Anyways i hope i didnt come off as pretencious its just some honest crit to help u improve.. For the most part i was diggin this. Theae few things will just help u get more polished. Stay up