Week 10: 13. Vividlyvague (5-3) vs. 14. Johnathan Mercy (1-1) \\ Vividlyvague wins 6-4

Wonderbred · 05-04-2014, 07:35 PM

@Johnathan Mercy I first saw this verse and thought, "This can't be the whole thing." It was obviously quite a bit shorter than would be ideal, but you did a lot in the few lines you had. It was kind of a risky move doing the personification of abstract ideas, but you pulled it off incredibly well. Your flow was pretty much perfect. You fit about as much as you could into 12 lines, and the result was great. I really enjoyed this a lot. Honestly, the only problem with it was its length.
@Vividlyvague Solid drop here. It may have just been me, but I felt that it was a little cliche with the cop/special agent recounting his trauma. Still, it was a pretty fresh take, and I liked the chronology. I felt that you did a really good job of sticking to the topic, with the guy choosing to take more punishment than was due--the "just" path. Rhymes were hit or miss, you had some good multis but some of them felt forced and some just missed, but nothing too terrible. You also did a good job of telling a story, even if it was kind of heavy on dialogue.

Overall, you guys had really different styles, but both were pretty good. I really wish JM had expanded on his verse, because what he had was most likely championship material IMO. But I'm giving it to the fuller, more complete verse.

MVGT: Vividlyvague

05-04-2014, 07:35 PM	#9
Wonderbred Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2014 Location: San Francisco Posts: 4 Rep Power: 0	@Johnathan Mercy I first saw this verse and thought, "This can't be the whole thing." It was obviously quite a bit shorter than would be ideal, but you did a lot in the few lines you had. It was kind of a risky move doing the personification of abstract ideas, but you pulled it off incredibly well. Your flow was pretty much perfect. You fit about as much as you could into 12 lines, and the result was great. I really enjoyed this a lot. Honestly, the only problem with it was its length. @Vividlyvague Solid drop here. It may have just been me, but I felt that it was a little cliche with the cop/special agent recounting his trauma. Still, it was a pretty fresh take, and I liked the chronology. I felt that you did a really good job of sticking to the topic, with the guy choosing to take more punishment than was due--the "just" path. Rhymes were hit or miss, you had some good multis but some of them felt forced and some just missed, but nothing too terrible. You also did a good job of telling a story, even if it was kind of heavy on dialogue. Overall, you guys had really different styles, but both were pretty good. I really wish JM had expanded on his verse, because what he had was most likely championship material IMO. But I'm giving it to the fuller, more complete verse. MVGT: Vividlyvague