Week 10: 13. Vividlyvague (5-3) vs. 14. Johnathan Mercy (1-1) \\ Vividlyvague wins 6-4

patrown · 05-04-2014, 01:05 AM

johnathan mercy - although i like the rhymes and undertones in your piece, it was too brief. i couldn't take much from it considering your brevity. wondering why you didnt put forth more?
vividlyvague - really enjoyed these lines in particular..
I was responsible. They framed me with the drop.
My gun was on the scene. The ones caught gave my name and got locked.
So I traced lines to get even. Carlos Mendoza. Cartel leader of three men.
Cop hunters and extortion elitists. Abortions to society due to criminal genius.

i like where you went with this. some cartel shit, combined with true trials and tribulations of some down south heads that didn't end up on the top of the game. although its kinda morbid, and otherwise .. empty, as far as further meaning goes, you did a good job of telling a true to life story. and i appreciate that.

-/vivid - pretty much took it with length, but also produced some truth worth paying attention to.

05-04-2014, 01:05 AM	#8
patrown ‹^›ô¿ô‹^› Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 596 Battle Record: 13-19 Rep Power: 0	johnathan mercy - although i like the rhymes and undertones in your piece, it was too brief. i couldn't take much from it considering your brevity. wondering why you didnt put forth more? vividlyvague - really enjoyed these lines in particular.. I was responsible. They framed me with the drop. My gun was on the scene. The ones caught gave my name and got locked. So I traced lines to get even. Carlos Mendoza. Cartel leader of three men. Cop hunters and extortion elitists. Abortions to society due to criminal genius. i like where you went with this. some cartel shit, combined with true trials and tribulations of some down south heads that didn't end up on the top of the game. although its kinda morbid, and otherwise .. empty, as far as further meaning goes, you did a good job of telling a true to life story. and i appreciate that. -/vivid - pretty much took it with length, but also produced some truth worth paying attention to.