Week 7: Totoro (0-4) vs. Witty (0-2) \\ Witty wins 4-2

e11even · 04-14-2014, 03:01 AM

NYC- this was a crazy drop. I felt pulled in diff directions most of the piece, but your language felt fresh and almost natural. The story didn't generously give of itself to help me understand the total picture, so I only caught certain parts. Great rhyming and interesting imagery throughout though. Good job overall.

Witty- this felt like a cool way to tell the story you told. It felt like a real event and very straightforward. Your rhyming was consistent and even, and it helped guide the story along nicely. I think this was a cool verse, and an ok ending. I think more should have been said of the bad guys and the man's addiction but it was good overall.

MVGT witty for a more overall enjoyable and cohesive piece.

04-14-2014, 03:01 AM	#8
e11even V.V Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: . Posts: 2,076 Battle Record: 31-20 Rep Power: 6247259	NYC- this was a crazy drop. I felt pulled in diff directions most of the piece, but your language felt fresh and almost natural. The story didn't generously give of itself to help me understand the total picture, so I only caught certain parts. Great rhyming and interesting imagery throughout though. Good job overall. Witty- this felt like a cool way to tell the story you told. It felt like a real event and very straightforward. Your rhyming was consistent and even, and it helped guide the story along nicely. I think this was a cool verse, and an ok ending. I think more should have been said of the bad guys and the man's addiction but it was good overall. MVGT witty for a more overall enjoyable and cohesive piece. __________________ Ahem.