Week 7: Mike Wrecka (2-4) vs. Adonis (3-3) \\ Mike Wrecka wins 4-3

[Certain]

Season 3

The Basics | Read the full rules here.

Verses are due Friday at 11:59 p.m. PT. THERE ARE NO EXTENSIONS.

Votes are due Sunday at 11:59 p.m. PT.

Verses may not exceed 48 lines or 650 words unless agreed upon by the opponent.

Voting on three battles is required. If you win and don't vote, you will receive a loss instead. If you lose and don't vote, you will receive a one-week suspension. Please post links to your three votes in this thread.

Topics this week are available for your choosing here.

Good luck, @Mike Wrecka and @Adonis.

[Adonis]

.

Hello Mr. Jones. We haven't spoke in a week or two.
Tell me, Hows life been treating you?

…

Hmm... Where to begin?
I truffle shuffled in Belgium.
Seldom enjoy the sweeter side of life.
So the fact I indulged didn't seem as trite.
Fueled by Waffles at night. Syrup to die for.
A liquidy symphony. My face, such an eye sore.
Caked with cakes. Full, but decide, “More!”
The crack of my lips drip...So Delightful.
...
We We Parie
The Tower tilts like a bottle spilt.
First you twirl glass to acknowledge bodies pizazz.
Taste aroma. delectable scent, in a coma.
First sip...Gurgle with your head dipped.
Intake flowers and fruit it took hours to fuze.
...
Rásta Mán
Toe crevices warmed... Grainy floor
Shore crashes... More beauty than force.
Yellow and Orange. Reflection off glass.
A moving body of ripples are dancing – Relaxed.
Light fades ~ Setting rays.
The beauty of a second will never see better days.
...
Good. I'm glad to hear your week was a success.
A much needed vacation is in order. Tell me, where next?
...
Tomorrow?
Won't change.
Travel by ground.
Escalade... No Range.
Gravel I'll trounce.
Ripping rubber by the mile on this saddle I found.
...OR...
Waters fine.
Yahtzee.
Cruise line drifting atop sea.
Strippers casting lines
Reeling in –
“You've caught me!”
...MAYBE...
Above it all.
Parting clouds in my airline.
Head is full.
Brain mass emptied on her hairline.
Nasal speak.
Walking White Lines
...and...
I share mine..

~~

Nurse.
Patient J. Uncured
The tests revealed
Schizo treatment is a failure still.
Please provide
more
pills
...
..
.

.

Topic:It's the year 2214, and you are the most powerful man on Earth.

[Mike Wrecka]

when it gets late, I watch movies and try to stay awake,
starring in my own subconscious, I need to take a break,
cause im Lost in Space, these plots all can relate,
to what im currently going through, got too much on my plate,
always in a Rush, but still stuck standing in line,
wishing that I could go back to The Land Before Time,
when I was free of stress and had A Beautiful Mind,
now I keep my Eyes Wide Shut so im usually blind,
I thought a Single White Female would be useful to find,
but now the thought of being Home Alone is completely sublime,
keep on the grind, caught inside of a Parent Trap,
Frozen in my emotions, now how does one handle that?
well, I get mad and react, then start to Scream,
hoping I wake up, Requiem For a Dream,
the tension seems to go on for 300 rounds,
Apocalypse Now until the walls of our house are practically tumbling down,
then we suddenly drown in our sorrows, slip into The Abyss,
All Quiet On The Western Front as we start to kiss,
nothing is fixed, but when This Is The End who wants to be on their own,
and this happens everyday, my life is Attack of the Clones,
Gone With The Wind, then we instantly back in the zone,
things being Super Bad is all I have ever practically known,
maybe if we had a Date Night it would feel right to hug,
but if we ever went to a night club it would turn into a Fight Club,
and yes my love for this woman is of Titanic proportions,
until six Men In Black raise and carry my coffin,
but really how often, can we reclaim the Glory,
it goes round and round, yes, Never Ending Story,
I know the dialogue perfect this is a reoccurring scene,
my life is like a movie being played out on the screen,
or at least it seems cause these Friday Night Lights,
wake me up and I realize that Reality Bites,
and nothing is alright, hows it finish? well that's all depending,
on whether or not this movie has a happy ending



Topic 1

[d0ubt]

adonis - i'm not used to reading topical pieces in this format so i find it a little odd. your flow and your rhyme scheme were nice in this piece, i enjoyed the multis and your placement of them. reading this verse, i found you to be a pretty unique writer based on what i've read. somewhere near the middle of the piece i had predicted the conclusion to this piece, it's got that shutter island feel to it. cool concept here, i feel it could have been made into a real mean topical piece had it been drawn out and executed in a different style. but despite my minor criticisms i enjoyed this piece, good writing.

mike - i found the many movie references to be a tad annoying while reading. i didn't clue in until the end as to why you were doing them, now i understand the purpose of it and think it's a good idea but i wasn't fond of it myself. overall i thought it was decently written, i thought you had some good concepts executed through the piece. i felt the it could have been more entertaining had you utilized more of a rhyme scheme to benefit the flow of the piece.

overall i thought both executed their pieces well enough and made this a pretty good battle, i don't think one person out-wrote the other person here, each had things i liked or didn't like about it, so i'm gonna vote here based on preference of the read.

vote - adonis

[timeless]

Adonis, as each week goes by i've gotten a little more accustomed to your style. It has its ups and downs as far as preferences go, but I feel you did a great job this week. In past weeks, your flow and structure has hurt you, but you got in line here. Your concept was a little outlandish, had a "wolf on wall street" feel to it, but nevertheless I enjoyed where it ended up. Good read.

Mike, your concept was a far reach. I feel as though it could've had more of the theme you used relate to the actual topic a little better. The ending seemed force honestly, and your multis and decent rhyme schemes were seen far and few between. Overall not bad.

V. Adonis for creativity and a more enjoyable read.

[Brian Bryan]

Adonis - I agree in so much as your style, this almost broken-down-bar format you use plays to your strengths as a writer in my opinion. it's short, concise, and to the point. the shorter lines clearly help your flow a whole lot, and you had a few flashes of brilliance sprinkled throughout this, like the 'liquid symphony' which I thought was creative. I wasn't too sold on the angle you took this week, I just felt the ending lacked something, almost ended too abruptly after such an elongated look into the 'patient' Mr. Jones. I wanted a bigger pay off. It reminded me a little of Pancake's joint about the autistic dude in some aspects. Good read.

Mike Wrecka - I think this was a dope verse, top to bottom, would make for a great verse to one of those movie bar battles that pop up occasionally. I'm not familiar with all the film titles mentioned, but enough of them to get what you did. It was an original take to the topic given, even if it felt a little tacked on in the last six to ten lines or so. I actually felt this was the more entertaining verse of the two put up here, and that's key in my voting when the technical side isn't so much prominent from both writers like I felt it was here... tough one to justify, I can see why people have voted Adonis' way but I'm going to have to go the other way here and give my vote to Mike by a fleas nut hair.

[zygote]

Good stuff, description of gluttony and opulence was emphasized by the constant references to exotic and uncommon foods. Depiction of a globe trotting 1%er with a voracious appetite to consume - also functions as a satirical caricature of the corporate-monopoly complex. The ending could point out how 'infinite growth' is delusional. Or it could also just be a straight story about an actual character. The words 'schizo' and 'uncured' are a bit off-putting. Both were thematically similar, the other substituted pop-culture for food, and made the tone more personal. The capitalization is a just a minor gripe, of course there is always that fear readers will miss it, but I think that it would have been a more enjoyable reading if it was more like a challenge, perhaps starting with an autobiographical disclosure after your first two lines something with much better actual words and to the same extent as "I love movies so there are 20 titles in this writing." Overall, you did an excellent effort here, capturing that mind-state of this character a pop-culture dependent insomniac. V MW.

[oats]

adonis: This was a cool spin on the topic, nice job subverting the idea that he really is the most powerful man, instead he's a schizophrenic. The quick jaunts to Paris and Jamaica were effective devices to illustrate his craziness, though I would have liked to see more in those segments, they kinda blurred by quickly. I think what would have made this a better verse, as well as tied it into the topic more concretely, is having the narrative voice have a degree of arrogance that you'd expect a supreme ruler to have. Like if he ordered the doctors around, or had a condescension in his tone. As it is now, it's hard to bridge this to the idea that he believes he is the most powerful man in the world, other than his extravagant imagined travels.

Mike: Good angle to take, the netflix-induced insomniac coma. I like how the narrator saw his life as a reflection of all of these movies, and it all tied together nicely. I thought the ending was a tad corny and predictable tbh, and maybe would have liked to see a larger thematic element at work, whereas this came off as a list of favorite movies (even having him say he rematches his favorite movies would have strengthened that core concept imo).


Vote: Hmm, another tough one. Neither outshined the other in their writing, and while Adonis had the better concept, I think he had the larger missteps/omissions (ignored the setting of the future, voice didn't capture most powerful man). Mike had a simpler concept, and the ending came off as cliche to me. Idk why you two keep putting yourselves in these nail biters lol, this is pretty tough to call, but after a handful of reads I feel a better sense of completion from Mike Wrecka's verse. I'll be interested to see how the final votes fall, since I think there is ample justification on either side. Good shit men, I think this may be the first time I've voted against Adonis this season lol

[TheRealWayneBrady]

Adonis, sometimes I think im a powerfulman too and then realize that that's bullshit and im just a worker ant in a fucked up colony thats headed nowhere..sigh. maybe im schizo too lolz. This was a nice take on the topic but to behonest with you I just wasnt wowed with it. I mean its a good piece but nothing really made me fall for your piece. Sorry


Mike wrecka, this was a great concept that if done wrong could crush you but I think you should have not capped all the movie titles, most people are smart and would have picked up on it anyways. I find it exciting and intriguing when a writer hides little clever bits in their pieces without trying to point them out or make them stand out, its more special that way. Like fishing for compliments vs just recieving them

For me I enjoyed Mike's piece better

Mw+1

[King Ra.]

Such a close match up here. On one side, you have this crazy twist on the topic, one which I thoroughly enjoyed. The other side, classic topical writing, and a cool direction with the topic. Adonis, you continue to really come up with these crazy concepts and twists and this was no different. At first read, I didn't really grasp your concept with the topic you went with but reading once more it was clear. I went with the same choice, buut I loved your spin on it. Coupled with your signature writing, everything was on point. Mike Wrecka, you've took some serious bumps lately, but have stepped it up the past two weeks and here I'd say you're finding that niche. As much as Adonis took a more creative approach, the idea with the movie references was cool. While it's not very fresh, the way you weaved it with your direction to the topic worked out well. Compared with last week I felt this piece was more complete from beginning to end with solid writing mechanics.

Choosing a winner is tough. Adonis had a better concept and story while Mike had cleaner writing and probably more complete piece. Both of your positives are the others negatives. Adon could use a bit more meat and much better rhyming while Mike needed more of a creative take than the safe route. Wrecka, you champed the Challenge League, and you probably did it with superb writing and creativity. Last week your concept was more creative and risky, while here I felt it lacked that spark to reel me in whereas Adon managed to really bring a fresh take and the content coupled with a nice ending gives him the edge here.

MVGT: Adonis. Good job by both competitors.