Week 6 contender match: Adonis (3-2) vs. timeless (3-2) \\ timeless wins 7-2

Witty · 04-07-2014, 04:15 PM

Timeless - you can do better than this if I am honest, you wrote it well...it was nothing to do with your writing really, it was to do with the direction you went in. I just didn't really find it interesting, it lacked any real excitement, I like a piece that makes me care what is going to happen, something that makes me want to read on because I need to know how it is going to turn out, with this piece I felt I knew how it would end from quite early on, it was written well, there is no problem with that, you have a good ability to rhyme while telling a story, personally I would have preferred your rhyme schemes to have been a little more complex, throw in some inners, spice it up a little. So yeah, this was a well written piece, the excitement just wasn't there for me.

Adonis - I didn't like your ending, I wanted it to be so much more and I really thought it would be. You made some errors along the way that I'm sure some people have already picked up on but it was a piece with interesting dialogue and I wasn't really expecting you to go in the direction you did. This was almost the opposite to timeless's piece in that as a concept I think it was much more interesting, but in terms of the quality of writing I was pretty disappointed because I know you can do a lot better. It was a cool little piece tho, not bad by any stretch of the imagination, but you have written much better verses in the past.

Difficult one...do I vote for the piece that interested me more, or the piece that was written better?

Fuckity fuck fucksticks.

Voting for timeless.

04-07-2014, 04:15 PM	#10
Witty Lime Life Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 16,978 Battle Record: 30-41 Accomplishments - Only Slightly Retarded Champed - Lyric Olympics - Summer Classic Rep Power: 85235118	Timeless - you can do better than this if I am honest, you wrote it well...it was nothing to do with your writing really, it was to do with the direction you went in. I just didn't really find it interesting, it lacked any real excitement, I like a piece that makes me care what is going to happen, something that makes me want to read on because I need to know how it is going to turn out, with this piece I felt I knew how it would end from quite early on, it was written well, there is no problem with that, you have a good ability to rhyme while telling a story, personally I would have preferred your rhyme schemes to have been a little more complex, throw in some inners, spice it up a little. So yeah, this was a well written piece, the excitement just wasn't there for me. Adonis - I didn't like your ending, I wanted it to be so much more and I really thought it would be. You made some errors along the way that I'm sure some people have already picked up on but it was a piece with interesting dialogue and I wasn't really expecting you to go in the direction you did. This was almost the opposite to timeless's piece in that as a concept I think it was much more interesting, but in terms of the quality of writing I was pretty disappointed because I know you can do a lot better. It was a cool little piece tho, not bad by any stretch of the imagination, but you have written much better verses in the past. Difficult one...do I vote for the piece that interested me more, or the piece that was written better? Fuckity fuck fucksticks. Voting for timeless. __________________ He listens to voices inside of his mind Explicit and poisonous violent crime.