Bare.

Geno · 03-30-2014, 05:33 AM

inferno of rage, flames, internal decay, thanks
caused by the conviction of every word that you say, great
vertical range, eyes turn into space, insecurities, weight
social anxiety, the wall between your personal space
assertively fake, awake, thinking its absurd to be lame
whats the purpose of faith, do you deserve to be saved
what if that and fagot were a pair of words in the same
you certainly crave, a different sort of grounds to be on
a place where you can be an asshole, without any fault
the balance of all things that you know to exist, a total eclipse
open the pit, fall asleep and wake up where nobody is
no one exists, not you, me, him, her, or the coma your in
the aroma is rich, enough to sell your soul for a hit
but the coldness is thick, and your clothes have been stripped
the belt you wore doesn't bare the type of gold that it did
frozen and stiff, eyes wide open like your focussed as shit
you bend the rules and hit the wall, but the ropes never give
your gut feels like an ocean of ribs, broke into bits
its over, the bridge you burned down explodes into sticks
and there you are, sitting on a chair where nobody sits
the darkest place conceivable, you know where it is
its nowhere to live, its sick, its your own hair and skin

Gen.

Sick · 03-30-2014, 06:53 AM

Dope

Exis · 03-30-2014, 08:53 PM

This is sick Geno...schemes & multies are fire, content wise it's nice as all shit.Flow is butter imo and I also thought the length was good...not too long, not too short although I was left wantin' more as I dug it so much.

inferno of rage, flames, internal decay, thanks
caused by the conviction of every word that you say, great
vertical range, eyes turn into space, insecurities, weight
social anxiety, the wall between your personal space
assertively fake, awake, thinking its absurd to be lame
whats the purpose of faith, do you deserve to be saved

^^Tightness.

the balance of all things that you know to exist, a total eclipse
open the pit, fall asleep and wake up where nobody is
no one exists, not you, me, him, her, or the coma your in
the aroma is rich, enough to sell your soul for a hit
but the coldness is thick, and your clothes have been stripped
the belt you wore doesn't bare the type of gold that it did
frozen and stiff, eyes wide open like your focussed as shit

^^Good stuff.

Thought it was dope as a whole but those sections I quoted stood out most to me, probably my favourite verse of yours...that I've read and/or fed that is.

Stay upwards bro.

Wise Wiggles · 04-01-2014, 10:08 AM

This was the best I've read from you in a long while I think. Or flowed the best, I should say. Depressed a little. Or a lot. This was raw and real. Props.

Fig · 04-02-2014, 12:41 AM

Damn geno. Thats expert flowmanship. The multi machi man.

I just get so lost in the actual sound and rhythm of your verses that I often forget to look at what you're talking about!

But you went for the introspective take and killed it. Stay dropping

Coup · 04-02-2014, 12:43 AM

Quote:

whats the purpose of faith, do you deserve to be saved

I read this as a question...a powerful statement to me really.

this verse was really deep in a subtle way by being raw and uncut without any pretentious wording and cryptic phrase to hide true meaning behind.

flow and pacing where hot, this was very strong to me:

Quote:

no one exists, not you, me, him, her, or the coma your in
the aroma is rich, enough to sell your soul for a hit
but the coldness is thick, and your clothes have been stripped
the belt you wore doesn't bare the type of gold that it did
frozen and stiff, eyes wide open like your focussed as shit
you bend the rules and hit the wall, but the ropes never give
your gut feels like an ocean of ribs, broke into bits

david stern razor burns · 04-04-2014, 04:11 AM

Hi Genocide. This was an excellent piece. You clearly have a real grasp of flow and structure, that much is obvious. You also have a knack for writing interesting and original content while not sacrificing the other technical aspects of your verses like scheming and multi's etc. Besides the "props" I also want to offer you one small criticism.

Quote:

frozen and stiff, eyes wide open like your focussed as shit

This line felt out of place, and the only reason being was the needless use of a crummy word. Using the word "shit" was a cop-out. Yes we are all guilty of using curse words in our pieces, but this one in particular stuck out like a sore thumb to me when I read it. It just seemed lazy, and like I say, didn't really fit in with the feel of this piece. Besides that small error this was a very strong effort. Please keep these verses flowing in here.

Geno · 04-04-2014, 08:28 PM

good feed @david stern razor burns
thanks
and also @ everyone else. thanks

Paradigm · 04-04-2014, 08:56 PM

the balance of all things that you know to exist, a total eclipse
open the pit, fall asleep and wake up where nobody is
no one exists, not you, me, him, her, or the coma your in
the aroma is rich, enough to sell your soul for a hit
but the coldness is thick, and your clothes have been stripped
the belt you wore doesn't bare the type of gold that it did
frozen and stiff, eyes wide open like your focussed as shit
you bend the rules and hit the wall, but the ropes never give
your gut feels like an ocean of ribs, broke into bits
its over, the bridge you burned down explodes into sticks
and there you are, sitting on a chair where nobody sits
the darkest place conceivable, you know where it is
its nowhere to live, its sick, its your own hair and skin

the first part was ok it felt you shoved in words to make it rhyme having no real meaning to the rest of the line and kind of diluted everything... it def picked up after that and the whole second half was dope especially the bold bar, crazy visual.

RTF: http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=63323

big baby · 04-06-2014, 02:48 PM

I think this piece started the flare of syllabic crazy themes in the OM currently. This was thought out well.

Geno · 04-07-2014, 07:16 PM

perhaps

Bladed Thesis · 04-07-2014, 08:39 PM

good read. 2

Bodey · 04-09-2014, 02:43 AM

Damn man that last line swallowed this verse into wholeness, it's what made it complete. Haunted by your own self, and thoughts and feelings. At least that's what I've grasped. Very easy to read too, smooth multies throughout in a perfect rhythm. Loved it. Thx for the read Gen, stay up

e11even · 04-09-2014, 03:30 AM

Fucking raw. My eyes danced all over this dark verse and it was very appreciated. This can be looked at as an introspective piece as well as an outward argument to call our lives and day- to - day internal struggles with who we are into question. This had a large intellectual component accompanying the shiny bells and whistles, while not fogging either of the two. Great job Geno.

03-30-2014, 05:33 AM	#1
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,354 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036761	Bare. inferno of rage, flames, internal decay, thanks caused by the conviction of every word that you say, great vertical range, eyes turn into space, insecurities, weight social anxiety, the wall between your personal space assertively fake, awake, thinking its absurd to be lame whats the purpose of faith, do you deserve to be saved what if that and fagot were a pair of words in the same you certainly crave, a different sort of grounds to be on a place where you can be an asshole, without any fault the balance of all things that you know to exist, a total eclipse open the pit, fall asleep and wake up where nobody is no one exists, not you, me, him, her, or the coma your in the aroma is rich, enough to sell your soul for a hit but the coldness is thick, and your clothes have been stripped the belt you wore doesn't bare the type of gold that it did frozen and stiff, eyes wide open like your focussed as shit you bend the rules and hit the wall, but the ropes never give your gut feels like an ocean of ribs, broke into bits its over, the bridge you burned down explodes into sticks and there you are, sitting on a chair where nobody sits the darkest place conceivable, you know where it is its nowhere to live, its sick, its your own hair and skin Gen. __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

04-01-2014, 10:08 AM	#4
Wise Wiggles nok Su kow Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,505 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 51788022	This was the best I've read from you in a long while I think. Or flowed the best, I should say. Depressed a little. Or a lot. This was raw and real. Props. __________________ "black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch"

04-02-2014, 12:41 AM	#5
Fig Om Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 6,461 Battle Record: 8-16 Rep Power: 84181562	Damn geno. Thats expert flowmanship. The multi machi man. I just get so lost in the actual sound and rhythm of your verses that I often forget to look at what you're talking about! But you went for the introspective take and killed it. Stay dropping __________________ BIRDHORSE 8-15

04-04-2014, 08:28 PM	#8
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,354 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036761	good feed @david stern razor burns thanks and also @ everyone else. thanks __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

04-07-2014, 07:16 PM	#11
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,354 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036761	perhaps __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

03-30-2014, 06:53 AM	#2
Sick t00 0riginal 4 u Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: Just Write's mother's house Posts: 1,042 Battle Record: 7-1 Rep Power: 1837334	Dope

03-30-2014, 08:53 PM	#3
Exis ............ Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 3,934 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 0	This is sick Geno...schemes & multies are fire, content wise it's nice as all shit.Flow is butter imo and I also thought the length was good...not too long, not too short although I was left wantin' more as I dug it so much. inferno of rage, flames, internal decay, thanks caused by the conviction of every word that you say, great vertical range, eyes turn into space, insecurities, weight social anxiety, the wall between your personal space assertively fake, awake, thinking its absurd to be lame whats the purpose of faith, do you deserve to be saved ^^Tightness. the balance of all things that you know to exist, a total eclipse open the pit, fall asleep and wake up where nobody is no one exists, not you, me, him, her, or the coma your in the aroma is rich, enough to sell your soul for a hit but the coldness is thick, and your clothes have been stripped the belt you wore doesn't bare the type of gold that it did frozen and stiff, eyes wide open like your focussed as shit ^^Good stuff. Thought it was dope as a whole but those sections I quoted stood out most to me, probably my favourite verse of yours...that I've read and/or fed that is. Stay upwards bro.

04-04-2014, 08:56 PM	#9
Paradigm ___________ Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: California Posts: 1,989 Battle Record: 4-4 Champed - The Ultimate Textcee - NBL Cypher Rep Power: 11033512	the balance of all things that you know to exist, a total eclipse open the pit, fall asleep and wake up where nobody is no one exists, not you, me, him, her, or the coma your in the aroma is rich, enough to sell your soul for a hit but the coldness is thick, and your clothes have been stripped the belt you wore doesn't bare the type of gold that it did frozen and stiff, eyes wide open like your focussed as shit you bend the rules and hit the wall, but the ropes never give your gut feels like an ocean of ribs, broke into bits its over, the bridge you burned down explodes into sticks and there you are, sitting on a chair where nobody sits the darkest place conceivable, you know where it is its nowhere to live, its sick, its your own hair and skin the first part was ok it felt you shoved in words to make it rhyme having no real meaning to the rest of the line and kind of diluted everything... it def picked up after that and the whole second half was dope especially the bold bar, crazy visual. RTF: http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=63323

04-07-2014, 08:39 PM	#12
Bladed Thesis ExSol Meets HolyIsh Join Date: Apr 2014 Location: IRL Posts: 148 Battle Record: 4-2 Rep Power: 2127063	good read. 2

04-09-2014, 03:30 AM	#14
e11even V.V Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: . Posts: 2,076 Battle Record: 31-20 Rep Power: 6247259	Fucking raw. My eyes danced all over this dark verse and it was very appreciated. This can be looked at as an introspective piece as well as an outward argument to call our lives and day- to - day internal struggles with who we are into question. This had a large intellectual component accompanying the shiny bells and whistles, while not fogging either of the two. Great job Geno. __________________ Ahem.