Week 5: Adonis (2-2) vs. King Ra. (2-2) \\ Adonis wins 6-0

Frank · 03-29-2014, 08:11 PM

Adonis

Organic birth canal experience. Got my head coming out of the vagina sopping wet in slimey juice with this one. The power of the period. The punctual. Force you. Subconsciously. To follow. My. Flow. is always unique to read. It's an unsettling style that scatters the thoughts into a collage through this poetic pulse thats in sync with the thudding of the human heartbeat. I feel as though I always point out your rhythm. Well, it's just that its so part of who you are as a writer now. This is our 3rd season in the same league. I'd say this was adonis verse in a nutshell. Yet, I am still waiting for the delicate, fancy, french main course. Are you keying this shit up in 30 minutes? I would love to see what you could do with a full 48 line verse. I thought at first this was a metaphor for a babies head exiting a vaginal canal wet with motherly fluid. Now I'm not entirely sure. (Sounds like water)The chicken crossed the road kind of ending was philosophical in that it almost made reevaluate my perspective, but this overall was a shining example of less is more. You have an adept ability for making a short read span for much further than first impression.

King Ra

The ever epic King Ra. The heavy handed warlock. A brute force type of writer, a warriors warrior writer. Battered and bruised type of wording, rough around edges, it speaks of ancient style of writing. I picture your writing process as scroll and quill rather than computer keyboard and mouse. The overwhelming idea here of mother earth giving birth, ran along the same lines as your opponent, also the cadence was sort've similar. How your opponents verse played into your approach is unknown at this time.. The creative push of the last stanza was creative.

I gotta read it again. I cant short change either one of these writers..,

I got adonis by a squiggly sperm

03-29-2014, 08:11 PM	#7
Frank Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 3,228 Champed - NWL Season 2 - Art of Writing League (5x) - Lime Green Poetry Association - AOWL Season 6 - AOWL Season 10 Rep Power: 3853347	Adonis Organic birth canal experience. Got my head coming out of the vagina sopping wet in slimey juice with this one. The power of the period. The punctual. Force you. Subconsciously. To follow. My. Flow. is always unique to read. It's an unsettling style that scatters the thoughts into a collage through this poetic pulse thats in sync with the thudding of the human heartbeat. I feel as though I always point out your rhythm. Well, it's just that its so part of who you are as a writer now. This is our 3rd season in the same league. I'd say this was adonis verse in a nutshell. Yet, I am still waiting for the delicate, fancy, french main course. Are you keying this shit up in 30 minutes? I would love to see what you could do with a full 48 line verse. I thought at first this was a metaphor for a babies head exiting a vaginal canal wet with motherly fluid. Now I'm not entirely sure. (Sounds like water)The chicken crossed the road kind of ending was philosophical in that it almost made reevaluate my perspective, but this overall was a shining example of less is more. You have an adept ability for making a short read span for much further than first impression. King Ra The ever epic King Ra. The heavy handed warlock. A brute force type of writer, a warriors warrior writer. Battered and bruised type of wording, rough around edges, it speaks of ancient style of writing. I picture your writing process as scroll and quill rather than computer keyboard and mouse. The overwhelming idea here of mother earth giving birth, ran along the same lines as your opponent, also the cadence was sort've similar. How your opponents verse played into your approach is unknown at this time.. The creative push of the last stanza was creative. I gotta read it again. I cant short change either one of these writers.., I got adonis by a squiggly sperm __________________ *VETWORK* Last edited by Frank; 03-29-2014 at 08:51 PM.