Week 5: Adonis (2-2) vs. King Ra. (2-2) \\ Adonis wins 6-0

PancakeBrah · 03-29-2014, 01:37 PM

Adonis -

"Suddenly... Boredom arrives."

Awesome. I liked this verse quite a bit. I've come around to writing this season. Or maybe you've elevated. Hard to tell. This was well written, the imagery was great. Obviously poetic in form and vibe. It didn't so much tell me something as it left an imprint and impression. Subtle work. The only problem area for me was the use of vegetation/segregation. Those words seemed out of place with the word usage you'd built up. Aside from that this was an enjoyable read.

King Ra -

I've become a bigger fan of your writing this season as well. This was good. It had all the trappings, very thematically presented. The italicized pushes were a nice touch. Your rhyming was stronger than your opponents. You took an extremely literally route with this topic but the topic is so ephemeral that your concept ended up being unique. Almost funny. Well written.

Two very different types of verses here. I prefer Adonis' approach here but both verses were good. BOTW potential. Good job guys.

v/Adonis

03-29-2014, 01:37 PM	#6
PancakeBrah SOBER Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 12,480 Battle Record: 2-5 Champed - AOWL Season 2 Rep Power: 85899407	Adonis - "Suddenly... Boredom arrives." Awesome. I liked this verse quite a bit. I've come around to writing this season. Or maybe you've elevated. Hard to tell. This was well written, the imagery was great. Obviously poetic in form and vibe. It didn't so much tell me something as it left an imprint and impression. Subtle work. The only problem area for me was the use of vegetation/segregation. Those words seemed out of place with the word usage you'd built up. Aside from that this was an enjoyable read. King Ra - I've become a bigger fan of your writing this season as well. This was good. It had all the trappings, very thematically presented. The italicized pushes were a nice touch. Your rhyming was stronger than your opponents. You took an extremely literally route with this topic but the topic is so ephemeral that your concept ended up being unique. Almost funny. Well written. Two very different types of verses here. I prefer Adonis' approach here but both verses were good. BOTW potential. Good job guys. v/Adonis __________________ Netcees 2025 Revivalist Movement Founder