A letter to you. Not that you deserve.

[Fig]

I hadn't planned on uploading this, but it's the only topical typething I've written in a while that I actually like. More emo than I'm used to but eh, I'm over explaining myself. Back to the show.

Hi.

Seems a pretty undeserving way to start this off.
Doesn't balance out the bye you (never) gave when you went lost.
Yeah. Lost. Like I missed you, but that feeling's been gone.
It returned when i saw your letter, drenched in that familiar scrawl.
Maybe you wanna reach before I financially take off,
or maybe you finally saw your future in that crystal 8 ball.
How dare you breach the silence you have sought?
... I guess it's kinda cool though, that you wanna talk...
It aint enough to say without you I've been well off,
Or that you're the only person with a cell block.
Or that the human language binds me to say hate
When i need a word or way to give you just as much pain
as love thats been taken away from you in my case...
Or maybe just a word to show that you've hurt me...
I feel that I've been yearning since the day that you made me,
for a tutor that could show me the ropes.
I see them now, and I kinda feel like dangling,
to further loosen my grip, just as tight as it chokes.
Does it scare you when i say that? The loss of your baby?
Cuz if you didn't give a shit, I don't think it would faze me.
So go ahead man, show the world that you made me
and forgot you should raise me. Please father, forsake me.
But when the distance grows till it's impossible to try
and reach what's at the end, while walking a straight line
then stay where you're from and don't dare keep me in mind,
If you can't walk the miles in my shoes...the ones you never taught me to tie....

But anyways, how is it there?

Must be pretty hard, for another man to tell you what to do,
I've never had that, so itd be hard for me to get used to.
And what about the meals, are they easy to chew through?
Probably more so than this... I think once you bought me some good food.
Ya, some mickey D's. A happy meal for an evening eat,
right after you had beat my mother in the fucking streets
then snatched me up. I was crying, you were driving the fastest speeds
on a busy street, bumping your All Eyez on Me CD.
Great times. A great life for a child.
To fear everything with eyes open, and eyes closed.
But through all this, I still couldn't help but need to see you,
Want to be you. Often seen through all your bottled evils.
Now I know what i didn't know then; you're fucking nothing.
A fucking scum, an ugly bastardizing punk
piece of chicken shit chunk, that never showed me much.
You soul-less fuck, I wish you'd die.

Why don't you love me?

I meant....something else. I don't know.
I'll show you that I don't need you based off how far I will go.
I want you to scar in the glow of your son who upholds,
that since I'm a man on my own, then I can manage my load.

Just let me know something...

Was I just another busted nut, that happened to grow a spirit,
Or did you mean to conceive a bastard with same appearance?
Maybe you wanted to see nature run its course
and when it did, you ran away of course. Daddy's little experiment.
The only gift you gave me was the curse of inception,
and that I have to see your essence in every fucking reflection.
And... I wish this was the letter I'd sent you.
But based off past events, I don't think that it'd go through.
You're there, and I'm here, so I'm inclined to forget you.
But the honest to god truth is that, Dad, I forgive you.

[VividEnds]

Was I just another busted nut, that happened to grow a spirit

it's hard to forget, harder to forgive when its everything you live.
if it means anything, the italics made me hope he drowns in the ink.

[Just Write]

wow this was really fuckin awesome, ita very hard to keep structure and still explain emotion and you did very well with this. got chills in a few places. gettin slept on man. good stuff

[Fig]

Thanks for the feed guys, I'll return the favor today.

[Spoken]

this be nice and consistent with the emotion you wanted to set out and display. you stuck it through all the way and stayed on point though the content i would always say i would have loved to see a more in depth take but for what it is and everything this was easily a good and consistent read through out props

[Vulgar]

@Figurative

I want to give this good feedback but I'm not sure if it's my place, or if it's perfect as is. If it's spiritually important to you and everything is placed in it for a purpose, chronicling the days of your past, then it's not my place. The overall theme was convincing and I read it all the way through without any discrepancies. Storytelling was going at a smooth pace. I wish the father figure was more fleshed out, like what does he look like, where is he from, etc? I just see "father" as a default character type of thing, or face, without identity. I think identity would help to strengthen the roots of the piece by showing us the entire tree. The branches of personal content were sufficient in conveying your perspective, your feelings and gripes. I thought it was a fairly good read.

This was my favorite part:

Must be pretty hard, for another man to tell you what to do,
I've never had that, so itd be hard for me to get used to.
And what about the meals, are they easy to chew through?
Probably more so than this... I think once you bought me some good food.
Ya, some mickey D's. A happy meal for an evening eat,
right after you had beat my mother in the fucking streets
then snatched me up. I was crying, you were driving the fastest speeds
on a busy street, bumping your All Eyez on Me CD.
Great times. A great life for a child.
To fear everything with eyes open, and eyes closed.
But through all this, I still couldn't help but need to see you,
Want to be you. Often seen through all your bottled evils.
^especially the bolded section, that was impactful.

Keep doing you

[Fig]

Thanks for the feed @Vulgar

Yeah I thought that people would be a deterred from critiquing this, but I put it up here for a reason ya know? Thanks again though for really giving me something to work on.