Fuck that gay boring soft shit

YDK · 03-20-2014, 03:38 AM

Flashing with brilliance;
I'm determined to stack my cash to the ceiling
Never slowing down till I'm in a casket and willing.
I got women on my cock saying my jackets appealing,
Unknowing that its actually my hatchet they're feeling.
I like to slice and dice 'em right before i spice and bite 'em,
The price is twice as high if I add the rice and glycine.
Spoiled pounds in vatts as I'm boiling down the fats,
People say I'm sick because they're oiled; drowned in gas.
What's a bitch to me? Just a meal thats fit for three,
Take the ribs and thighs let them smoke with hickory.
The rest is history! I feed the breast to dogs,
Unattractive lumps of fat unless they're sitting in a bra.
Weak in the knees from the beatings that please,
Every money hungry whore is appeasing to tease.
I sell their bodies on the streets till they catch a disease,
Then i kill em, cut em, and cook em and and resell them as meat.
My souls been dead for years, Jeffrey Dahmer and his peers,
Living well in hell, they're just grateful that I'm here.
Satan's left hand man I make a KILLING; earth and hell,
I sold MY soul for this and it was completely worth the sell.
Filled with greed and gluttony I feed these demons hungrily,
because it's abundantly clear that I'm only here for the company.

“ Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."
― Mark Twain

YDK · 03-21-2014, 01:35 AM

bumpin, leave links i'm feeding for the next few hours

e11even · 03-21-2014, 05:07 AM

Fuckin hot stew. shit was dope. very consistent flow. nice dark stage. My favorite flavor. keep OMing bro.

Geno · 03-21-2014, 10:55 AM

wickwack

stick to topicals man, your doing better in that catergory. just saying

dead man · 03-21-2014, 12:28 PM

nice try

Just Write · 03-21-2014, 03:21 PM

Eh, this was alright, not saying it as dickish as geno did but he's right, you are better in the topical realm but its always nice to branch out. And if you dont keep writing like this you cant get better right? It was just too pg for me, wording wise ect. But I dont write like this either so I cant really tell you anything. I will however give the old horrorcore grimy verse a try someday. Anyways keep writing. Peace

Ghost1 · 03-21-2014, 06:09 PM

Schemes were remedial. Concept was awful. This shit was wack to me.

Rawn MD · 03-23-2014, 03:42 PM

This wasn;t my/ or ur cup of tea...

I'd stick to topics...some of the schemes seemed unnatural, and/or basic.
Flow wise it was on and off...
and horrorcore wise, this really didnt even intrigue me.

Just wasnt for me, but props 4 goin out ur comfort zone.

YDK · 03-23-2014, 09:46 PM

It was more for humor than horror tbh lol

CopyPat · 03-24-2014, 04:36 PM

yeah i wasn't feeling this either dude haha
the killing woman shit is just played to death, pun intended. eating them and selling the meat etc was just weird.i think the whole thing just came off strange. if u were trying to be funny idunno it just didn't really work man. structurally it was good, flow was solid, nothing too crazy here on a technical level. obviously had an audio style type of rhythm which is good, could easily convert this. but yeah just wasn't a real original idea or anything, i usually like ur stuff so this was a step back for me, as always thanks for the feed on mine

Greed · 03-24-2014, 09:04 PM

Icp fans would dig it I bet. Creepy that a woman showing interest in you leads you to these thoughts. But you know, whatever.

Bender · 03-24-2014, 10:04 PM

Interesting, a little creepy and wierd for the most part. I feel like the flow was pretty good, the rhyme schemes where dope but the story was fucked up. I feel like the nice wording took away from the story a little bit, but in all reality it is difficult to find that happy medium. Not a bad piece besides the whole cannibalistic element.

03-20-2014, 03:38 AM	#1
YDK ghost in the matrix Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: Covington, KY Posts: 4,563 Battle Record: 14-25 Champed - Art of Writing League (x2) - Lime Green Poetry Association Rep Power: 8181113	Fuck that gay boring soft shit Flashing with brilliance; I'm determined to stack my cash to the ceiling Never slowing down till I'm in a casket and willing. I got women on my cock saying my jackets appealing, Unknowing that its actually my hatchet they're feeling. I like to slice and dice 'em right before i spice and bite 'em, The price is twice as high if I add the rice and glycine. Spoiled pounds in vatts as I'm boiling down the fats, People say I'm sick because they're oiled; drowned in gas. What's a bitch to me? Just a meal thats fit for three, Take the ribs and thighs let them smoke with hickory. The rest is history! I feed the breast to dogs, Unattractive lumps of fat unless they're sitting in a bra. Weak in the knees from the beatings that please, Every money hungry whore is appeasing to tease. I sell their bodies on the streets till they catch a disease, Then i kill em, cut em, and cook em and and resell them as meat. My souls been dead for years, Jeffrey Dahmer and his peers, Living well in hell, they're just grateful that I'm here. Satan's left hand man I make a KILLING; earth and hell, I sold MY soul for this and it was completely worth the sell. Filled with greed and gluttony I feed these demons hungrily, because it's abundantly clear that I'm only here for the company. “ Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company." ― Mark Twain __________________

03-21-2014, 01:35 AM	#2
YDK ghost in the matrix Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: Covington, KY Posts: 4,563 Battle Record: 14-25 Champed - Art of Writing League (x2) - Lime Green Poetry Association Rep Power: 8181113	bumpin, leave links i'm feeding for the next few hours __________________

03-21-2014, 05:07 AM	#3
e11even V.V Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: . Posts: 2,076 Battle Record: 31-20 Rep Power: 6247259	Fuckin hot stew. shit was dope. very consistent flow. nice dark stage. My favorite flavor. keep OMing bro. __________________ Ahem.

03-21-2014, 10:55 AM	#4
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,354 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036761	wickwack stick to topicals man, your doing better in that catergory. just saying __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

03-21-2014, 12:28 PM	#5
dead man living Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,485 Battle Record: 33-18 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - AOWL Season 1 - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 4 - Write Week V - GWL Season 1 Rep Power: 77606679	nice try __________________ Zack Wicks for president

03-21-2014, 03:21 PM	#6
Just Write Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 1,709 Battle Record: 9-12 Rep Power: 4997617	Eh, this was alright, not saying it as dickish as geno did but he's right, you are better in the topical realm but its always nice to branch out. And if you dont keep writing like this you cant get better right? It was just too pg for me, wording wise ect. But I dont write like this either so I cant really tell you anything. I will however give the old horrorcore grimy verse a try someday. Anyways keep writing. Peace __________________

03-23-2014, 03:42 PM	#8
Rawn MD Get MacDon Join Date: Dec 1969 Posts: 2,168 Battle Record: 3-7 Accomplishments - OM HOF Rep Power: 0	This wasn;t my/ or ur cup of tea... I'd stick to topics...some of the schemes seemed unnatural, and/or basic. Flow wise it was on and off... and horrorcore wise, this really didnt even intrigue me. Just wasnt for me, but props 4 goin out ur comfort zone. __________________ FFC>FCC A. bove T. he R. est

03-23-2014, 09:46 PM	#9
YDK ghost in the matrix Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: Covington, KY Posts: 4,563 Battle Record: 14-25 Champed - Art of Writing League (x2) - Lime Green Poetry Association Rep Power: 8181113	It was more for humor than horror tbh lol __________________

03-24-2014, 04:36 PM	#10
CopyPat Mic Check Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Calgary Alberta Canada Posts: 708 Battle Record: 13-10 Rep Power: 3742225	yeah i wasn't feeling this either dude haha the killing woman shit is just played to death, pun intended. eating them and selling the meat etc was just weird.i think the whole thing just came off strange. if u were trying to be funny idunno it just didn't really work man. structurally it was good, flow was solid, nothing too crazy here on a technical level. obviously had an audio style type of rhythm which is good, could easily convert this. but yeah just wasn't a real original idea or anything, i usually like ur stuff so this was a step back for me, as always thanks for the feed on mine __________________ My syllable count approximately a billion, bounce. You cannot compete.

03-24-2014, 09:04 PM	#11
Greed Raw Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 1,721 Battle Record: 21-40 Rep Power: 29975687	Icp fans would dig it I bet. Creepy that a woman showing interest in you leads you to these thoughts. But you know, whatever.

03-24-2014, 10:04 PM	#12
Bender Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 264 Battle Record: 11-5 Rep Power: 146919	Interesting, a little creepy and wierd for the most part. I feel like the flow was pretty good, the rhyme schemes where dope but the story was fucked up. I feel like the nice wording took away from the story a little bit, but in all reality it is difficult to find that happy medium. Not a bad piece besides the whole cannibalistic element.