Week 4: YDK (2-1) vs. Adonis (2-1) \\ YDK wins 5-3

oats · 03-23-2014, 04:53 PM

Adonis: cool take on Airplanes, I def felt the emotion you put into it, it matched the vibe of the song. I think where you were most successful was how the verse had a crescendo to it, had a good buildup and you cashed in on it at the end. If anything, I'd say it was lacking in terms of material that made me think, but not everything needs to. A couple of provocative one-liners would have been a nice compliment here, but I think you succeeded in everything you were going for, nice verse.

YDK: I liked this a lot. You built a clever narrative out of that picture, with good characterization of the man and his child, tying it all into the idea of war. I like the use of the child as a symbol for the drone - something small that causes death. If anything, I would have liked to see this expanded upon a little more, seemed a little too short for the strengths of the verse to take hold of me.

Vote: This is another really close one. I think Adonis had the better writing, but I liked YDK's angle a little more. Ultimately, I think I have to give it to Adonis for a better sense of completion in his verse, just felt like he had a tighter grip on his execution, whereas YDK's compact verse left me feeling like there should have been more. Once again, this can go either way, no doubt both of you will be threats to champ at some point in the season.

03-23-2014, 04:53 PM	#6
oats Steel Cut Join Date: May 2013 Posts: 5,084 Battle Record: 19-10 Accomplishments - OM HOF (2x) Champed - Fight Night LXXXIV - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 79005428	Adonis: cool take on Airplanes, I def felt the emotion you put into it, it matched the vibe of the song. I think where you were most successful was how the verse had a crescendo to it, had a good buildup and you cashed in on it at the end. If anything, I'd say it was lacking in terms of material that made me think, but not everything needs to. A couple of provocative one-liners would have been a nice compliment here, but I think you succeeded in everything you were going for, nice verse. YDK: I liked this a lot. You built a clever narrative out of that picture, with good characterization of the man and his child, tying it all into the idea of war. I like the use of the child as a symbol for the drone - something small that causes death. If anything, I would have liked to see this expanded upon a little more, seemed a little too short for the strengths of the verse to take hold of me. Vote: This is another really close one. I think Adonis had the better writing, but I liked YDK's angle a little more. Ultimately, I think I have to give it to Adonis for a better sense of completion in his verse, just felt like he had a tighter grip on his execution, whereas YDK's compact verse left me feeling like there should have been more. Once again, this can go either way, no doubt both of you will be threats to champ at some point in the season. __________________ You should be water