AOWL Week 5: Witty (1-2) VS. nO goOd! (0-0) OPEN FOR VOTES!!!

Mike Wrecka · 03-16-2013, 09:17 PM

nice battle fellas.

no good - amazing verse. i was completely invested in each character. and you being a soldier made it feel very real. there was a ton of emotion here. I actually felt really bad for each person and the situation they were put in. the flow and wording were very strong. i didn't find any hiccups in the cadence at all. you painted a very vivid picture using a lot of imagery and had layers of emotion that was made for an extremely enjoyable read. the last tanza didn't stand up to the rest but i think that's the perspective your farthest removed from. good job.

witty - you did your thing man. dope verse man. the story u told here was a good one. went present day misery with someone living and dreaming of what could have been, went to the past and showed the person when had those same dreams, only difference was that they were actually achievable then. and finally went back to present days and shows how he is depressed sleeping all the time, and dreaming. deep stuff man. blows my mind really. like the dreams, as in aspirations, we had when we were young, might be the same aspirations we have now that we are older. the only difference is the they were achievable then because we had the whole world in front of us so it brought joy to think of those things. now those dreams are more shattered dreams that bring unhappiness cause we know deep down inside its too late to achieve them. wow man. lmao.

structurally this verse was very sound. and had a good flow. your accent throws me off a bit here and there but then i just say it in my head like a leprechaun and it sounds straight. real talk. awesome and very deep verse.

overall - fuck you guys. i hate having too vote on two pieces that i so thoroughly enjoyed but oh well here it goes. i liked no goods slightly more. it invoked a little more emotion right away as opposed to wittys who i had to let marinate a bit. very even but ya

vote- no good

03-16-2013, 09:17 PM	#8
Mike Wrecka WOW Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,591 Battle Record: 29-25 Champed - Writing Challenge League I Rep Power: 82779338	nice battle fellas. no good - amazing verse. i was completely invested in each character. and you being a soldier made it feel very real. there was a ton of emotion here. I actually felt really bad for each person and the situation they were put in. the flow and wording were very strong. i didn't find any hiccups in the cadence at all. you painted a very vivid picture using a lot of imagery and had layers of emotion that was made for an extremely enjoyable read. the last tanza didn't stand up to the rest but i think that's the perspective your farthest removed from. good job. witty - you did your thing man. dope verse man. the story u told here was a good one. went present day misery with someone living and dreaming of what could have been, went to the past and showed the person when had those same dreams, only difference was that they were actually achievable then. and finally went back to present days and shows how he is depressed sleeping all the time, and dreaming. deep stuff man. blows my mind really. like the dreams, as in aspirations, we had when we were young, might be the same aspirations we have now that we are older. the only difference is the they were achievable then because we had the whole world in front of us so it brought joy to think of those things. now those dreams are more shattered dreams that bring unhappiness cause we know deep down inside its too late to achieve them. wow man. lmao. structurally this verse was very sound. and had a good flow. your accent throws me off a bit here and there but then i just say it in my head like a leprechaun and it sounds straight. real talk. awesome and very deep verse. overall - fuck you guys. i hate having too vote on two pieces that i so thoroughly enjoyed but oh well here it goes. i liked no goods slightly more. it invoked a little more emotion right away as opposed to wittys who i had to let marinate a bit. very even but ya vote- no good