Week 3: Vulgar (2-0) vs. Adonis (2-0) \\ Vulgar wins 7-6

Pinot Grij · 03-16-2014, 08:04 PM

Adonis. I like the shorter style. Your verse could've used a little more color around the edges, more precise writing... I understand that the piece was meant to be stripped back, but at the same time that worked for and against you. Overall, I thought it was a good storytelling venture, you still labored a bit in the topical realm that kept it from really popping.

Vulgar, I was not feeling this at all. Overall, the take on the topic was kinda bland, there were some really were word choices (disorderly dopes/conceive holes) and I hate stoner culture. It just wasn't for me.

Vote - Adonis

03-16-2014, 08:04 PM	#10
Pinot Grij Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 863 Battle Record: 23-19 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night 2 - Write Week V - Netcees Battle League (2x) - Winter Topical II - 1-2 Punch league Rep Power: 29195064	Adonis. I like the shorter style. Your verse could've used a little more color around the edges, more precise writing... I understand that the piece was meant to be stripped back, but at the same time that worked for and against you. Overall, I thought it was a good storytelling venture, you still labored a bit in the topical realm that kept it from really popping. Vulgar, I was not feeling this at all. Overall, the take on the topic was kinda bland, there were some really were word choices (disorderly dopes/conceive holes) and I hate stoner culture. It just wasn't for me. Vote - Adonis __________________ Topical C.R.E.A.M.