Week 3: Just Write (2-0) vs. patrown (2-0) \\ Just Write wins 9-1

[Just Write]

So I just moved to this area, and I find Im Often alone
I have a New life, a new job, and an apartment home
Three locks on the door, (because you can never be too safe)
In fact im thinking about adding a padlock and industrial chain
Or get a dog, i hear they're great security, & comfort you in times of stress.
Lately i've been out of my groove, and my mood's been less than the best
Maybe it's the fact that my family is more than two thousand miles away
And these long distance bills are a bitch & becoming harder to pay.
At any rate im ready to get out there, find some ladies and mingle
It's been four hundred and twenty one days since i could last say I was single
Tina was such a bitch. that's my ex, she was fucking depressing,
Every ten minutes she was either calling or texting.
She wanted to know where i was, what I did, even what i was eating
couldn't jack off in my own bathroom. I feared she'd hear my heavy breathing
So one day I left while she was gone for the weekend, and never returned
But i Left her a note. Im not an asshole! I didnt want her becoming concerned.


It read, "Im sorry Tina, but this just isnt working out. It's really for the best
You're overbearing with your relationship routes, & you suck at sex
And even though what we had was special, it would have never worked
But I hope one day you find that person, that you truly deserve." - Sincerely yours
I kept staring over my shoulder as I wrote, hoping she wouldn't come home & find me.
Even though im a man, a woman with spite, could be quite frightening.
Her temper was terrifying, for a woman she packed a hell of a punch
And I couldn't hit her, so when she yelled I'd take a step back & run.
im so grateful to be out of that relationship. starting a brand new life & future
dad's been great too, he lent me a few grand for furniture & to buy a computer.
So now my living room is picture perfect, IKEA's most modern decore
From the paper machete light covers to the eco-friendly rug on the floor
But I feel something is missing, and fear im the type that needs a companion
Sometimes it's trippy, I think I miss all the bitching and excessive nagging
So i've decided to sign up to a few Social networking sites to try my luck
But I'm not desperate, so if I dont find a connection, i might find someone to fuck



First site I tried was Christiansmingle.com, what an outrageous experience
Those women aren't normal... they border insane and delirious
Im serious, this one girl said we could date through facetime or skype!
And she didnt want to meet me in person until our engagement night.
I know crazy right? Im not even one of those religious types
I just heard how faithful christians are, and the women make terrific wives.
But I got over that quick, I heard about some site called "plenty of fish"
Filled out they profile then posted up a couple of pics.
In less than five minutes my inbox said "1 new message", I was so excited
But it was just some spam mail about a function they had, and I was invited.
I decided to not go. I mean I dont know if I was ready for that
So instead I filled out the rest of my profile, I wrote my heading in caps
It said "NO EXPECTATIONS, I'M JUST LOOKING TO HAVE A GOOD TIME"
Logged off and set my phone ringers notifications to high
They have this cool little feature that will text your phone if you get a reply
And I send out a ton of messages.. yea, im a copy and paste kinda guy.



Later that night I noticed I recieved a few messages and was eager to check
But this IS online dating, i've learned you never get what you expect.
I had messages from three fat chicks, some spam and two transexual men
So right there I logged off of that site and never checked it again.
I moved onto the next site, zoosk, it measures compatability ratings
So I filled out a profile, and signed up for a section titled "instant dating"
It shows a list of patrons who already signed up, with their interests stated
No pics, but in the basics they insisted you try to make dinner arrangements.
I met this girl, username was angeleyes. Almost scary, her page was just like mine
Down to favorite movie being The Cable Guy, & listening to the legend Barry White
It showed our dating level in the mid 90's, which was very promising
And our lifestyle was at 100 percent, which I also found rather astonishing
I mean its really an oddity, to find someone who's basically meant for you
I looked through her bio, we even have the same taste for eccentric foods
Her profile said she just moved here as well, and was in need of friends
So I quickly typed up a greeting then immediately pressed send



It said "angel eyes, I like your profile and wondered if you would like to chat
From what I read we have a lot in common, & our compatibility's match."
She responded back with a "Hi, its nice to meet you, haha imagine that!"
Follwed by a winky face which instantly made me smile and laugh
I typed back, " I like your sense of humor, what made you move to these parts?"
She said, "needed a change, my last relationship was hard & left me with scars"
She said he left her one weekend without notice, just a "note of concern" on the shelf.
Then she told me how she hoped that loser would burn in the lake of hell
I sat back with a blank face...in disbelief, thinking this couldn't be real
Its gotta be a coincidence, i mean this is just waaaayyy too surreal
I was nervous yet giddy and didn't know exactly what to do
So I just typed it up simply..... "Tina is that you?"