Week 2: sacrifice (0-1) vs. Objective (0-1) \\ sacrifice wins 6-5

Rawn MD · 03-10-2014, 01:22 AM

Objective - I liked your approach man, the story you told was fluid and captivating. The use of the actual topic, and how you intertwined it into the story worked out very nicely. I noticed a few grammatical errors, nothing major, and knowing that English aint ur first language im not going to discount you for them, bc truthfully they didnt hurt/help ur verse at all. As a whole the verse flowed pretty smoothly, and it seemed authentic enough to how something like this would occur. Nice verse...fuckin weird name choices though lol.

Sacrifice - Man, tbh this is my type of verse. Flow was very fluent and schemed nice af. The refrain that you used was dope too, and tied the topic in as best as it could. Your wordchoice was very well chose and bc of that you could feel the emotion. However, although I REALLY enjoyed the verse I felt that the approach to the topic may have been a little to abstract. Your refrain really did help a lot imo, but the personalizing of such a grand idea of a revolution, to that of an internal struggle just seemed to be to far of a stretch. I will say though you chose a good theme to attempt this with bc drug addiction to the addict is as consuming as a revolution to society. I really liked your verse bro, but i felt it didnt fit the topic AS WELL as objectives.

Def a unique match up though, and both verses were thoroughly enjoyable. Sacrifice i truly appreciate the risk attempted here too with the approach, but I genuinely feel objectives story captivated enough to pull it off.

Vote - Objective

03-10-2014, 01:22 AM	#1
Rawn MD Get MacDon Join Date: Dec 1969 Posts: 2,168 Battle Record: 3-7 Accomplishments - OM HOF Rep Power: 0	Objective - I liked your approach man, the story you told was fluid and captivating. The use of the actual topic, and how you intertwined it into the story worked out very nicely. I noticed a few grammatical errors, nothing major, and knowing that English aint ur first language im not going to discount you for them, bc truthfully they didnt hurt/help ur verse at all. As a whole the verse flowed pretty smoothly, and it seemed authentic enough to how something like this would occur. Nice verse...fuckin weird name choices though lol. Sacrifice - Man, tbh this is my type of verse. Flow was very fluent and schemed nice af. The refrain that you used was dope too, and tied the topic in as best as it could. Your wordchoice was very well chose and bc of that you could feel the emotion. However, although I REALLY enjoyed the verse I felt that the approach to the topic may have been a little to abstract. Your refrain really did help a lot imo, but the personalizing of such a grand idea of a revolution, to that of an internal struggle just seemed to be to far of a stretch. I will say though you chose a good theme to attempt this with bc drug addiction to the addict is as consuming as a revolution to society. I really liked your verse bro, but i felt it didnt fit the topic AS WELL as objectives. Def a unique match up though, and both verses were thoroughly enjoyable. Sacrifice i truly appreciate the risk attempted here too with the approach, but I genuinely feel objectives story captivated enough to pull it off. Vote - Objective __________________ FFC>FCC A. bove T. he R. est