Week 2: Cereal_Killa (1-0) vs. patrown (1-0) \\ patrown wins 6-0

King Ra. · 03-09-2014, 11:23 PM

You both wrote pretty well here. patrown, you really impressed me with this verse. You wrote it very well. The only problem I had with your piece was when you introduced the two characters near the middle of the verse, but then got back on track. This would have been a perfect piece. I loved your schemes & descriptions. All in all, solid job. CK, as always, you write very intricately, and just like patrown, very descriptive. My niche with your piece is it didn't really start kicking until the baby part. I found myself like others trying to understand your story. There were some indications, but I'd have to say I wasn't able to piece it together. Like your opponent, solid writing though the story left much to be desired.

Through my first initial read, I was leaning towards CK, but after going through each piece thoroughly, I have to say patrown managed to put together a more well rounded piece, whereas CK's though well written, seemed a bit off.

MVGT: patrown.

03-09-2014, 11:23 PM	#1
King Ra. The Throne, The Crown Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 2,667 Battle Record: 21-35 Rep Power: 1932963	You both wrote pretty well here. patrown, you really impressed me with this verse. You wrote it very well. The only problem I had with your piece was when you introduced the two characters near the middle of the verse, but then got back on track. This would have been a perfect piece. I loved your schemes & descriptions. All in all, solid job. CK, as always, you write very intricately, and just like patrown, very descriptive. My niche with your piece is it didn't really start kicking until the baby part. I found myself like others trying to understand your story. There were some indications, but I'd have to say I wasn't able to piece it together. Like your opponent, solid writing though the story left much to be desired. Through my first initial read, I was leaning towards CK, but after going through each piece thoroughly, I have to say patrown managed to put together a more well rounded piece, whereas CK's though well written, seemed a bit off. MVGT: patrown. __________________ Vetwork, bitches.